Lullabies of the Alternates
by Terenani Potentia
Summary: A compilation of romantic one shots I make whenever I'm inspired to type for a certain pair. Requests are accepted, so don't be scared to step up! I'll try to make sure every ship, even the awesomely obscure ones, gets a chapter! WARNING:LEMONS, LIMES, INCEST, AND OTHER STUFF I FEEL LIKE TYPING!
1. TerezixVriska

Fluttering emerald green leaves were swept in the gentle wind, its soft whispers passing by a sleek figure walking in the rolling they originate from is the last dream bubble this troll is from; lush green flora were soon replaced by dry, parched desert. You are Terezi Pyrope, and this is a very important dream. Perhaps the most important of them all. You've heard several rumors of an old friend gathering a large quantity of recruits to form a sort of army to battle against Lord English. Several huddled forms are grouped together a few yards ahead, whispering in hushed tones that you manage to pick up snatches of conversation in the warm wind.

''Why's it doing th-'' ''-ow should I know-'' ''-riska, who's over the-?''

Grinning, you trot down the knoll of sand,kicking up sand around you, and stop in front of Tavros, John, and of course, Vriska. The human boy waves at you with a friendly smile while the shy troll just slips you a lop-sided grin.Vriska scowls at the pile of maps beneath her; her eyes don't even sneak a single glance towards you. But that's okay. In a few more dreams, she'll be in the very palm of your hand...

''Oh, hey there Terezi... WAIT!'' Vriska jumps up and grabs your shoulders. The contact makes your insides feel a little funny.''You can help us with the maps!'' She frantically grabbed one and held it up close to your face.''The damn colors are moving all over the place all of sudden. They're disappearing almost every second, and then coming back on other random maps.'' Your grin widened a little to see how desperate she was, and nodded.

'' I'd also like to join this party of yours.'' You pointed your cane towards John and Tavros, almost knocking the boys down to the ground.''For a price though.''

''Fine. Okay, now do it! Get moving!''Beads of sweat started to roll off Vriska's face; seems like even ghosts couldn't escape the merciless sun.

You take the map; neon-colored splotches disappear from one corner to the next, lingering for no more than a few moments. John looks up at you with that goofy expression of swear you saw a flicker of jealousy in his eyes.

* * *

Several long hours later, you make it to an ancient temple. It's red stone walls were crumbling apart; hopefully this thing won't fall on top of you guys while you're in there. You and the others enter cautiously. Your footsteps echo in the cavernous passageway, leading to a dimly lit room holding a glowing baton seated on a raised platform. A single large, red ruby is embedded into its tip, sending ominous chills down your spine. Vriska smiled. She ran up the stairs towards the mystical baton; once on top, she snatched the stick, waving it in the air triumphantly. Her victory was short-lived. Red mist engulfed her, and she disappeared along with the ancient,short staff.

''Vriska!'' Tavros's lips trembled, with tears in his big eyes. John was speechless.

_Vriska__ wouldn't die as easily as that...! _Darting outside back into the brilliant sunlight, you looked for any blotches of colors that resembled her. A sinking feeling filled you. What if she's actually gone? Can ghosts actually disappear or die again?Suddenly her voice rang out and clear from behind you.

''Missed me?''

Her faced was twisted into a smug smile. Hundreds of pirate ships loomed over the both of you, sending vast shadows of their flapping sails and flages gliding across the ground. With every step Vriska took, they inched closer, following her every movement. John ran out, followed closely by Tavros. They gaped at the ships in the sky, their eyes growing as wide as records.

You looked at her happily. ''Those are some wicked ships.''

* * *

Endless red sea spilled over itself in large waves,brushing the bottoms of the ships, even sending frothing seawater over them. Scowling, you steer the vessel in the lead. So far, you've traveled to five different dimensions; you've met yourself a few times along the way, a few of them trying to get rid of you to get to Vriska. Though it was annoying, and rather exhausting, you woke up each time with a pleasant smile on your face like the old times. What topped it all off is that you finally got the courage to dump Gamzee; you were ready to fight him to the death in case he flipped out, but he just stared at you with those half-lidded eyes and crazed smile of his. The only thing he said was,''Go for it, motherfucker.'' Several days later you heard he was off stalking Karkat again like a love-sick clown puppy.

''Donkey flip-flops...!''You cursed as the waves thundered against the side of the ship, almost sweeping you off the deck. Vriska came thundering out of the captain's cabin. By the time she made it to you, she was as soaked as you were. She scowled deeply, etching deep lines into her gray face.

''What the fuck are you doing here, dammit?! I'm rolling all over the fucking floor!''

You gave her an apologetic glance, then spun the steering wheel ship once again sharply veered off towards the right to avoid an oncoming wave, pushing Vriska onto you. Even if it was fifty thousand miles into the sky with a tempestuous thunderstorm directly above your heads, you could feel both your and her hearts beating against each other. A deep shade of teal flushed your faced.

Before Vriska could realize she was hugging your waist tightly, you hugged her back with one arm,steering with the other. She froze; her arms gripped you harder, trembling with something that smelled like fear.''What the he-''

''Hehe, don't be scared,Vriska.'' Your amber eyes locked onto hers for a brief moment. She was only inches away, her warm breath mingling with passion made your judgement start to feel a little hazy. Maybe you could just move your hand and-

''LAND HO!'' Tavros wailed from above. His hand pointed towards a blur of green emerging from the maze of gray clouds. You sighed, letting go of Vriska.

On the ground, the three of you left the ships, making your way to a rising blue castle. You wondered if this was an alternate Vriska, or John, or maybe even Equius... a loud knocking lifted you back to reality. Vriska shot you a glance with navy blue still lingering in her cheeks.

A grey face greeted you slowly from behind one of the slowly opening doors, short black hair tumbling around her face. She wore a pair of glasses that looked kind of old fashioned and a neat blue dress. She had the same exact horns as Vriska, who gasped. Their eyes raced over each other's features, as if they both had the same opiphany at the same time.

''Are you...?''They mumbled. You just stood there with a dumb look on your face. Before you could grasp what was going on, both were smiling and hugging each other as if they were long lost sisters. Well, this could get a bit complicated.

* * *

''And so, the civilization of Yunga had to remove themselves from the exploding star system, fleeing from the entire galaxy. Ever since, no one has ever seen one of their kind for thousands of years.''Aranea smiled. You just frowned at her, chewing on an apple you had picked from one of the trees on the island.

For some reason, things weren't going so well. Your plan didn't include more than three people at maximum; now another ancestor had joined your now pirate-like group(though quite reluctantly) after she had challenged Vriska to a duel that had spun out of control. At least you got a glimpse of your ancestor, who you really wish was here right she would enlighten you on how to deal with this rambling girl.

You couldn't take it anymore. You mumbled something about needing to use the bathroom, then stomp off to an uninhabited part of the forest, where several bull fairies fluttered out of the trees because of the racket you're making. Why doesn't Aranea just butt off already?You wonder. Back on the ship,you had ''wandered'' into the captain's compartment; there, Vriska and you would spend long hours of the voyage discussing military strategies, together, beside the flickering candlelight. More progress was made by the days lumbering by. But now you saw no end to her ancestor's stories, not that they're not interesting or anything.

The sound of crunching leaves put you into an automatic battle stance, aware that this island could hold more than just bull fairies. Instead of a feral beast, Vriska came out of the shadows with a mischevious grin playing on her blue lips, but a her eyes betrayed a concerned look.

''Why did you run off like that Terezi? Aranea's stories aren't that , they _are_ sort of long, but it's not like-''

You face her with an infuriated expression.''It's not the stories. It's just that...'' This is not good. You weren't planning on confessing to her like this, not when you feel so moody and pathetic. You were going to impress her. Make her feel like you were the best choice for a matesprite in the whole universe...

_GROWL._

Vriska suddenly looks extremely nervous, brandishing her magic dice. You slowly turn around to face a humongous undead beast looming over you with a hungry look on in its soulless eye sockets. Green moss sprouts from all over its bare bones, a hissing sound coming from deep within its cavernous skull.

Both trolls knew what to do; weeks of battling together had prepared them for this. You ran to the side, catching the monster's attention by jabbing it with your cane while Vriska throws her dice into the air. She lands a fairly good attack number. Blue sparks rush towards the roaring beast, shattering several of its bones with crackling electricity. A crazy smile came upon your face. Time to finish this quickly, you thought. The monster regained its senses, sniffing at Vriska with renewed ferocity, who scrambled to pick up and throw her dice again.

Before anything serious could happen to your dear future matesprite, you leaped on the animal's back. With a sharp stab, its skull completely shattered into a million flying shards. Several cuts your face; teal blood leaked onto your smiling gray face. Vriska looked at you with an wide smile on her face. For now, you could say it wasn't such a bad start to a wonderful relationship, climbing down the slain beast's back.

You grab Vriska's hand.''Let's go.'' She nods, gripping your hand tightly as both of you made your back through the winding, lush rainforest.

* * *

''John, don't touch that. You don't even know if it's cursed or something.''

John stuck his arm into the white, house-shaped symbol anyways. His form mysteriously flickered with each moment he had it in there. You're sitting next to Vriska, who you've accompanied for the past several dreams to gather more comrades from alternate dimensions; dozens of them are now crowded into ships, commanded by mind-control. Ever since this group has been growing larger and larger, things have become more difficult to make your move on Vriska.You snicker. John just disappeared; now to get rid of the other four...

Swiftly striding over to Aranea you grab her arm and fling her into the glowing symbol; she disappeared in mere seconds. Aradia nodded at you creepily as if she understood what you were doing, then fluttered away. Meenah ran for her trident. You grabbed it before she did, then jabbed at her, again and again, until she was only centimeters away from the white relic. She gulped, then did a backward hop into the unpredictable loot, flickering into nothing.

''And what was that supposed to accomplish?'' Vriska pouted. You shrugged.

Sauntering towards her, you kneeled in front of her, closing in until your faces were only inches apart.''Vriska, let's be matesprites.''

Her cheeks turned a shade of deep blue.''Us, matesprites...? I've always wondered about the idea, Terezi, but I'm-''

You decided that the answer was yes, closing in the space between the both of you with a soft kiss. She closed her eyes and actually kissed you back, her hand darting up to grab a fistful of your a few sickeningly sweet minutes, you break the kiss with a triumphant grin.Vriska made a slight whimper of disappointment.

''I guess that's a yes?''You whisper into her ear.

''Yeah, I guess so.'' She laughed quietly, hugging you tightly.

Afterwards, the group came back together again a couple hours later, when the missing members randomly popped up at the entrance of the for John. You made the announcement that you andVriska were officially matesprites, along with an earnest apology, earning a few congratulations from them. When you left the cave with the box holding the mysterious glowing symbol, you put it down on a table in the captain's cabin. Vriska sat next to you; she was asleep, leaning her head against your grinned, and leaned against her, closing your eyes to fall asleep next to her warmth. Soon, you woke up to the comet with a clear head and full heart, knowing that no matter what, you'll feel her comforting embrace yet again.

* * *

Was that too cheesy? I was in the mood for some fluffy stuff, so maybe I'm just not used to it or whatever. But I do think that for once I actually portrayed the characters correctly; just give me a recommendation to see what I can improve next time if you think otherwise.

TH4NKS F0R R34D1NG! :]


	2. DavexGamzee

Right now you are Dave Strider. Stuck on an asteroid that's going to be trapped for three whole years in space, on an endless journey to wherever your bro and his generation of players must be located at. You would flip out at the mere boredom on this damn thing after only a few days, going from time-traveling to exciting, exotic landscapes to dull, gray rock camping, but you're too cool for that. Rose seems to have made herself at home;she's in a close relationship with Kanaya, and you think they would be one of those few couples that will actually stay together for now you have nothing better to do than mess with one of the most annoying trolls in this place just for some fun.

_**HONK.**_

At that moment, you stop graffitying a page of a huge tome, and indifferently shove the hissing Karkat out of your way.''I heard something...''

Karkat's eyes widened.''W-What the fuck are you talking about?! Here, just listen to me for one fucking moment and-''

He went back to making that shitty shipping chart; his hands now slightly trembled, making the straight lines look more like the crude scribbles that inhabited the corners of the page. You spare a glance towards the darkness beyond the doorway. A flash of indigo streaked by, accompanied by a few fading honks that echoed into the distance.

You would never forget how beautifully haunting they sounded.

* * *

You're walking through the shadowed hallway still trying to get over that giddy feeling that mystery figure left behind. Even though you know it's in vain, you try to drown it out by putting on a pair of headphones and listen to a few sick you can't drown out the plaguing troubles that have been starting to take root on this endless shit ride.  
Lately, Karkat has been more of a pain in the ass in real life;he yells constantly and at everyone, offline or online. Terezi is an awesome girl, maybe a little weird at times, but you can tell she has a thing for you, dropping hints here and there that just make Karkat's temper worse with each passing like you really care. You just go along with it just to annoy the short-tempered troll for a bit of pitiful entertainment. Rose seems to be drinking much more than humanly possible; Kanaya, now her matesprite, has been laboring to wean her off of it bit by bit(unfruitfully,too). John and Jade are now hurtling through space like you guys, but you have no means of contacting them. It actually feels a bit lonely not being pestered by your goofy past crush, or having some kind reassurance from the skilled gardener. _Dammit, they would laugh at the state I'm in right now_, you think the drama happening, especially with the looming threat of colliding with a vicious Jack in the future, made you want to jump out the nearest window. But you can't do that. That would shatter the perfect cool-guy mask you've had on for your whole life.

Now you can't help but shift your thoughts to something less stressful. Like that mysterious shadow that flits in the corner of your eyes, vanishing without a trace when you focus on it. Those horrifying ,yet alluring, sounds that emanate from the murky networks of this forsaken rock when you're asleep...

_**HONK.**_

Your heart skips a beat. Where the hell did that come from?

**_HONK._**

You whip your head towards a steel air vent where the sounds seem to be coming from. Shit just got interesting.

**_HONK._**

Using your time powers, you rust the solid steel cover off, the brown rust dusting the ground at your feet. Bending down, you get onto your hands and feet to crawl through the cramped tunnel; glaring light funnels from a room that calls you.

Inside, piles upon piles of pie containers smothered in neon green slime clutter the room. It smells like a two-headed alligator walked in, took a giant shit, and died in bottles add a look of complete disaster to the small room. The glaring light glows from a lone computer monitor, where it seems the inhabitant of this room was using a chat program similar to Pesterchum, indigo words floating across the screen. As you peer closer, the same shadow enters the room. Before you could turn around to see the long-sought identity of the shadow, it extends an arm and whacks you across the head, sending you into dark unconsciousness.

* * *

_Where am I? _

It took you a few seconds to remember where you still are. The same dirty, cluttered room greets your weary eyes that immediately see something interesting for once. A tall, lanky figure sits in the chair a few feet away from you; the clicking of a keyboard tells you he's too busy to deal with you. This is your chance to see this douchebag's face.

You slowly turn your head towards him, trying with all your might not to move anything else. Which is hard because you're laying against the wall in an awkward legs are bent funnily, with your arms crushed against the wall behind your you can get back at this guy for knocking you unconscious later when the numbness from your limbs go away. After craning your neck enough to get a glimpse, you view a pair of shining apple juice eyes, jet-black hair, and a make-up stained face, the eerily smiling lad wearing a black t-shirt like every other troll that had an indigo Capricorn symbol in the center. His spotted pants matched him almost too perfectly. He was serenely cheery, looking back at you- wait what?

'' 'Sup.''

That was all you could utter at the moment. You had no fucking idea what to say to that god-awful, glorious face. His grinned widened a little and he said,''So why were you in my motherfucking room?''

''Well, I thought I might as well take a look around in the place I'll be stuck at for three fucking years of my life.''You slowly get up to your feet, using the wall as seems so hazy all of a sudden. It seems like the exit back to the vents is only a few feet away...maybe you could just deck this guy and...

He stands up too. Except his towering figure obscures the light coming from behind him,casting shadows across his gray face. ''Motherfucker, you can't just come in here like that. Seems like someone has to motherfucking teach you how to stay out of other people's rooms...''

His eyes start to turn into a menacing shade of scarlet, and he grabs your arm, yanking you so close to him you could smell the remnants of orange soda in his breath. Now that you think about it, you're not that scared actually. For some reason, you know he's not going to hurt you. For a brief moment, he glares at you with crackling ferocity, then his arm releases yours, you almost sigh in relief, the tension slipping away from your shaking frame. He takes a seat into the beaten chair behind him, looking down at his feet. He gives a feeble honk that echoes through the room. Shivers travel up your spine once again; you wanted more.

You sit down on the floor in front of him; rabid curiosity takes over you. Usually, you wouldn't hang around a murderous clown who had just threatened you with death seconds before, and would have gotten the hell out of there. But this isn't the usual. There's nothing new to do.

Gamzee (you remember his name,finally) seems to read your mind. He leans towards you, brushing his lips on the shell of your ear. He honks softly before whispering,''So motherfucker, you're attracted to me huh?'' _How the hell...? _It kind of freaks you out someone can read your feelings so easily like some shitty Gamebro magazine. Actually, it's a great thing. Maybe... you could actually be yourself for once..._Fuck that, I'm supposed to be a Strider! Not some pansy!_

You laugh softly.''Maybe I am.'' You can feel Gamzee grin, then wrap his arms around you to bring you up to his face.

A pair of chapped lips met yours. His sharp fangs nipped your lips, drawing scarlet blood. You hiss, thrusting both hands into his shirt and sit yourself into his lap. Hours went by, full of sloppy if time is supposed to be your thing, you lost track of it in Gamzee's presence, until you pulled away breathlessly to go to sleep.

You guess it's safe to say you're dating a juggalo.

* * *

After that first visit, you come back almost every single day to the secluded cave.Karkat scowls whenever you make your way back to your new boyfriend. He caught you sneaking to the guy, with both of your legs dangling uncoolly out of the metal entrance. Now it seems like the whole damn place is aware of what you're doing.Terezi tosses you disappointed looks behind your back; you know she knows. But you don't give a single fuck. When you're lucky, the mysterious Capricorn slips a few blow jobs here and there, leaving you smelling more like him than usual. Hugs happen much more often than you would tolerate, though it's only because you've finally let down your walls after one evening.

The shades. The shades you have always worn no matter where you go, had accidentally slipped off when you slipped over a puddle of glowing green slime, revealing your brilliant ruby eyes to the handsome troll who had extended his hand to help you up. You refused to accept it, knowing he would think you're a freak who just hides behind a pair of damn afraid to admit to being the freak you everyone would have ditched you by now if hadn't been putting up the cool kid would shun you, cast into the darkness that engulfed this isolated rock of hell... Instead, he lifted you up into his arms despite your loud protests, your face turning a bright scarlet, sitting back into his computer chair. After a few minutes you begin to calm down, not for long though; his lips are pressed against yours, making your heart beat a thousand miles per hour again.

That was the most heated make-out you had in your life. Now you can't help but think that you guys should do more. Every time you touch, you get this excited feeling.

Right now you're macking on his chapped lips, tasting him, feeling every inch of his bruised skin. Damn, what does he do when you're gone. You swear, if you weren't so turned on right now you would have made him promise not to do any shit that made him look like this.

Your clothes are on the floor now. And now you're on the floor,too, pushed beneath his skinny, gray of your bare bodies are closed in on each other, and despite the sharp cold from the air, the blazing heat made you traces his fingers over your pale skin,then roughly jams one of them up your ass, chuckling softly.

''Prick...''You mutter, ravishing his mouth with your tongue.

He simply thrusts his fingers in and out, trailing the head of your dick with his free index finger. Precum moistened his hand as he wrapped it around your length and started to , matching the pace he was fingering , your hands wander over his skin, resting your hands on his ass. You give out a low moan when he hits a sweet he pulls out, you whimper. You were hoping for something more from him this time...

Suddenly you're flipped onto your stomach. He grabs your waist, still grabbing your rock-hard erection. _Oh god, it's about to happen._ He rubs his hard cock against your entrance, not entering but teasing you.

''Fuck... just do it... ahh...'' You gasp when he finally thrusts into you. This felt better than you would have imagined it, slick cum dripping onto your trembling legs. Gamzee's thrusts became more forceful, forcing you to moan so loudly you fucking swear everyone could hear it echo through the damn vents. That thought melted away when lust clouded your eyes; the hot length pressed into your backside started to make your own throb needily in your lover's hands. Reading your mind, he reacted deftly, pumping you faster. Moans and gasps bounced off the dark walls of the messy room.

The climax neared, and you yelled Gamzee's name, clenching your hands into tight fists. Gamzee's top torso fell over you in a gasping heap; you could hear your name being muttered quietly, his heated breath brushing against your sweaty back. His amber orbs stared into your very soul, analyzing the depths of your spirit.

''I love you.'' Three words; that's all it took. To drive you over the fucking edge, piercing cold tear drops streaming down your face. You've never cried before, and are ashamed to do such an uncool thing in front of the best fucking boyfriend that could have existed. Once again, he defied expectations, cupping your face and saying something that made you turn hard all over again.

''I love you, too, motherfucker.''

* * *

**That was touching. Or was it too emotional for Dave? Who will ever know? Why am I still talking? Oh, look, a conveniently placed window... *jumps out***

Suggestions are welcomed! =^w^= 


	3. TerezixNepeta

''Nepeta, are you busy?''

At this moment, you're Terezi Pyrope, hanging out with one of your closest friends:Nepeta. She looks at you with an adorably curious expression. Unfortunately, her mouth is smeared with animal blood,making your insides curdle. This was why you were afraid to have lunch at her cave.

''Nyope! I have absolutely nothing to do for awhile,meow.'' She gives you a toothy grin. Bloody instestines are stuck in her sharp fangs, and you can't help but choke on your PBJ sandwich.

You swallow with much effort.''Ugh... have you ever cooked your food?''

''Cook...?'' She tilts her head innocently, pressing her index finger to her bottom lip. If she wasn't eating animal carcasses she would be the literal definition of cuteness.

After a few moments of silent pondering, she shrugs her shoulders. You sigh.''Well, anyways, I was wondering if I could come back next week to draw some more. This picture of the hanging dragon is perfect.''You cackle silently, pointing to a ''pleasant'' sketch of a stuffed dragon hanging by a noose from a tall tree. Nepeta licks her scarlet lips, a flattered smile blooming across her face.''Teehee,I could draw you another one.'' Her giggle dusted a light shade of teal on your cheeks.

It's been several days since you've actually seen sweet,little Nepeta. Recently a new game has just cropped up, and Karkat wants you to rush over to your computer like it's the end of the world. But he doesn't know how to relax for once, to relish in the beautiful, small moments of life.

You look across the room, at the endless paintings, sketches, and drawings of various pairings that you and your crush spent care-free hours creating. Next time, you would present her with a wonderful depiction of what you think a pairing of her and you would be, a cherry red heart above the both of you.

Mesmerized by her emerald spheres, you leaned in, taking a long whiff of her pleasant scent.''I'll make sure to bring a picture for you,too. Hehehe...''Chuckling, you rested her head against her shoulder. She gave you quick glance( there seemed to be dark green blotches appearing in her face)then permitted herself to rest her head tentatively against yours. Soon, both of you were lulled into a peaceful sleep by the deep beating of each other's hearts.

How innocent and far away those days are now, lost in the jumble of lies that has surrounded you.

* * *

You stare at your love's lifeless body. Her dark green blood was smeared across her face, streaking across her clothes, spilling onto the cold, hard floor.

''Nep, are you okay...?''

If it weren't for the intensity of the situation, you would have laughed at what you had just said; it was plainly obvious that she was beyond repair. You walked over to her slowly, not wanting to drink in the splashes of green that danced across your blurry vision, telling you she was lost, lost to a ruthless villain who had no mercy for anyone. Whoever this is will pay dearly. They will feel the heavy burden you felt as you lifted the stiff corpse into your trembling arms, the empty silence that rung with your grave footsteps, the bottomless regret, sorrow, and grief that shattered your heart into a thousand pieces.

Before you could stop it, ice-cold drops of faintly teal liquid dripped along your unsmiling face. You could barely hold in the wails that threatened to burst out of your trembling lips any moment. A soft pressure rubbed against the side of your upper thigh, inside your pocket. Then it hit you: you would never be able to give her the sketch you had poured your blood, sweat and tears into. It was just as you had imagined it when you were laying in that warm cave, oh so long ago.

Two certain trolls were grasping each other's hands, smiling, with a pretty red heart above them. Matesprites; that's what they were.

_ Matesprites..._

Dim light spread very little warmth against your numb body. The exterior of the asteroid was not very different from the rocks passed by serenely, streaking by glowing masses of supernovas and gently let go; Nepeta's body floats off into the black, endless cosmos beyond, out of sight until you can no longer tell where she is. The last trace of her honeysuckle scent withered away, no matter how hard you searched for its familiar smell not even your strong senses could pick it up. You grip your cane with renewed ferocity.

You walked back inside the shadowed shelter, to execute the perpetrator of this heinous crime.

* * *

Months later, you wandered through vast landscapes that escaped from sight as soon as they had came. As tempting it was to climb among the twisting roots of hundreds of trees within the miles of forests that crept past you, there was only one blinding, brilliant light that led you along this forlorn path.

You knew Nepeta wasn't dead. She would be resurrected as her dreamself, or be in the next life, waiting for you to fulfill the promise that seemed like so many sweeps ago.

Finally, a single broad gateway greeted your tired eyes. You have been walking for days, it seemed. Blisters formed on your weary feet; it was a time like this you were grateful that this was only a dream. The gateway was formed of solid, earth-toned rock. Beyond, the same tones continued on in varying patterns, swirling around a towering spire that scratched the very sky that tower, perched a smiling figure who waved at you, her milky white eyes fixed on you.

''Hey there, Terezi! How are you doing, meow?'' She called out, her voice tinkling like 's as if she had never slipped away from your frozen hands, floating away to nothingness. You've waited such a long time for her to call you name in that fluid, sweet voice of hers for too long.

You waved at her, with a wide grin on your face; it's been awhile since you've felt so joyful.''Hehe, nothing new! Look, I finished this painting I promised you so long ago!''Your voice sounded hoarse since it had not been used for a few days. Nepeta leaped gracefully from the high perch;dust was kicked up into the air when she landed on one knee, inches away from you. Her face had become more lined since you had left, as if she had aged a few years, though her body showed no sign of maturity since it last left you.

Waving the faded paper, you approached her, handing her the paper in her waiting hands. She smiled, blushing furiously. You couldn't tell whether her eyes were gazing at you, but you definitely sensed she was sending a few flustered glances while gazing upon the artwork.

''It's... it's meowtacular.'' She said breathlessly.

''Thanks! Actually, Nep, I've been wanting to ask you this one question.''

She looked up at you, an anxious, yet cheerful expression upon her round face. You embraced her, careful not to hug too tight. You were afraid of breaking her again. You never wanted to see her angelic face have that kind of look dashed across its kind features.

''Nepeta, will you be my matesprite?'' A soft gasp came from her ashy lips; your heart was thundering in your chest so loudly, birds soaring in the air could have heard it.

Nepeta smiled warmly, then cupped your face with her velvety hands, saying in such a soft voice it could have been carried away in the wind.

''Yes.''

Your grin widened tenfold. This was it. No matter how many nights you would have to spend to find her again, you would be able to greet her as matesprite. Yhe kindest, sweetest of them all. Words weren't required to express the joy of the moment; both pairs of lips were pressed against each other in earnest. You removed her dark blue cap, running your hand in her silky, raven hair. Her hands traveled up to your neck, interlocking their slender fingers.

You don't know how long you stayed there with her like that. Nothing else mattered, because she is your matesprite, and that will always be the one fact in this complex, unending game.

* * *

Not as smutty as the last one, but that's how I've always pictured the pair. Though I do wonder how you guys think I did on personality this time; I think it wasn't as bad as usual. Heheheh, I've been wanting to write a fanfic for this pair for awhile anyways.

Thanks for reading! :33


	4. BroxHuman! Lil' Cal

Lil' Cal stares back at you with those glassy, diamond-like eyes of his. You can''t remember the last time you've not walked into the same room as this puppet without staring right back into those shining glass spheres. Tentatively, you reach out a hand to his plush body, bringing it to yours in an embrace. You sigh; getting this emotional over a puppet is definitely not cool. Or normal, in any way possible. But you wish he could come to life sometimes. Maybe then life wouldn't be so dreary, going from work to your house, back to work, back to here, where your brother just makes the place more of a dump than it already is. Not like you would ever help, since you pass out on the bed right after work from your programming the morning creeps upon you mercilessly, and the vicious cycle continues.

Sighing, you toss Lil' Cal softly onto your unmade bed. You walk over to your computer desk, the only surface that isn't completely occupied by decomposing filth and food wrappers. The monitor glares at you, flashing the program download progress: ninety-two percent. _I don't even know what this thing like I have anything better to do._

Ninety-four percent. Jake had sent this to you in the mail before his grand voyage, hearing that it was popular among hardcore puppeteers. You remember his exact words were: _''I thought you would love something as fascinating as this, chum! It's been a while since we've roughed it up like the old days, so I thought a nice gift like this would suffice until I return from my trip. See you soon!_'' That guy has been traveling the world, leaving the care of his infant grand daughter (who's now the same age as Dave) to some last time he even bothered to talk to you was twelve years ago.

Ninety-eight have been real hectic in your adult lives; Jane is working harder than ever to maintain the crazy schedule of her company and balance her family time with John, Roxy is a work at home mom in order to keep a close eye on Rose (and her liquor), while you have this shitty schedule to maintain for Dave. Though the guy reveres you as some sort of ironic god, you feel more like a silent loner who has nothing better to do than programming, or make retarded web comics.

One hundred percent. You lazily drift the mouse to navigate the arrow to the flashing green button that activates the program on screen. _ALCHEMIZE._ That's most definitely the weirdest start button to something you've ever seen before. You shrug it off, and click it.

Nothing happens.

A system error message appears on your screen, saying that this program can only be executed once, and once only. _Useless piece of shit..._ You swear, then take out the CD, throwing it out the window. It's shining spherical shape flies out into the distant night sky; warm wind brushes against your neck, making you shiver. You get up and close the window. The warmth still flutters across your exposed neck, then inhales fresh air. Wait, the window's closed. And the wind doesn't breath on you like that, or have arms to wrap around your neck with.

_It's too good to be true. _You turn your head around slowly, unable to believe your wildest wish to be granted. Cal's new human features stare back you, not in its usually despondent way, but with actual pupils dilating to every light shift, roving over your own surprised face. His short light blonde hair tumbles over his face messily; he blinks. He actually blinked. Then you notice his chest gives off a radiating beat, like there's an actual heart in there, beating to your own rhythm.

'' 'Sup. So what do we do now, because I'm not going into the whole 'I'M A REAL BOY!' shit.'' He gives you an impish grin, his grip on you tightening.'' Or did you have different things in mind?'' Your heart flutters. So this is what the program does. Make the puppet you're most attached to come to life, and you now wonder how it could _not_ be popular among other be legal.

''Cal, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.'' You shift your body so that you hook your hands into his armpits, holding him up like a cat. His hands flex, seeming a bit unused to moving on their own. You notice his shirt has grown along to his new body proportions, which resemble that of an eleven year old's. He apparently realizes he can move his body on his own now, grabbing your arm with his hand eagerly, as if he hasn't seen you for centuries.

'' I'll wait until you confess it yourself, but just remember that I've been with you for your whole life, hearing whatever you can't say to others, and what you don't want to say to me right now. So if you excuse me-'' Cal removes himself from your grasp, landing on the floor and makes his way to your bedroom door-''I'll just go bother Dave now.'' He lets out a mischevious laugh before leaving.

You can't help but feel that his eyes had a cold shadow of sadness in them.

* * *

A whole week passes. Dave gets over the whole deal with Cal, who is now torturing him without your help. You try to avoid him whenever necessary, taking extra shifts at work and working overtime. But no matter where you go, those sparkling eyes follow you. You're holding back from him, knowing that this is impure, disgusting, and... and so damn great. _No, it's not great. It's-_ You pause for a moment; how do you describe a relationship that's so wrong, yet feels so right? You _were _the one who brought him to life. Might as well enjoy what you've done.

You decide it's time. After work, you drive home at top speed, parking the car messily in your driveway. You flash step up the stairs to your apartment; Dave passes by you, and you stop to grab his shoulders.

''Where's Lil' Cal?'', You demand vehemently. A great length is aching in your pants at the twisted thoughts swimming in your head.  
Dave gives you a slightly troubled look.''How should I know? That creep is running all over the place... I-I'm going out for walk...'' He trembles, then speed walks down the stairs; you'll have to lecture Cal not to mess with your little bro so much. Unfortunately, that's reserved for another time.

A few stair flights later you burst into the living room. Romping through the piles of rancid, wasting filth, you find a familiar silhouette a few feet away. Cal glares at you defiantly for a few moments. With a triumphant 'HAA HAA HEE HEE HOO HOO' he flash steps into your bedroom. _Looks like he actually learned something over the past years._You follow him, throwing your jacket, hat, and shades onto the couch nearby.

Dim light shrouds your tall frame, splashing over Cal's pale complexion. He's stretched out over your futon, his arms crossed behind his sit on the edge of the futon, and take a deep breath.''Cal, little man, I have to tell you something before we do this.'' _This is wrong. But I don't care anymore. I need something, someone to help me in this stupid mess._

''I love you.'' Cal's features turn from smug to pure happiness. He instantaneously appears next to you, placing a kiss on your cheek. You're harder than you were moments before.

''If you really do, then do me right here, right now. No regrets, man. We're doing this.'' He settles into your lap, resting his soft hands on your broad shoulders. You gulp; what will happen after this? This is basically having sex with an under age puppet thing that somehow became human. No one wants to associate with a guy who did _that_.They'll abandon you. For life.

Tantalizing shivers travel up your spine when Cal puts his gloved hand on your throbbing erection, moaning your worry melts away as a lustful euphoria takes over. You wrap your hands around his small waist, bringing those puckered lips to yours, feeling the warmth from his body turn you on with each second. You shove your tongue into Cal's mouth impatiently, wrestling with his slippery muscle as you bring his heated body closer to cock rubs against his thigh, making Cal grind his hips against a few more grinds, both of you are blushing furiously, still fused together in a sloppy makeout.

''Cal... take off your clothes...'', you growl to of clothing start to fall onto the cluttered floor. Soon you're on top of Cal, spreading his legs and licking the throbbing dick that begs for attention. You lavish his short length with your tongue, making his hips buck uncontrollably. His hands grab your spiky blonde hair, moaning and gasping. You decide to insert one finger into his tight ass, thrusting it in and out, forcing your lover's breaths to become steadily faster. Two fingers go in, slick with the precum dripping from your mouth.

Suddenly your fingers are taken out, and you gasp for air. Cal whines.''W-what the... hell are you...doing?'' You smirk at his current state for a moment; his hair is messier than usual, tumbling over his blushing face, a thin layer of sweat coating his fair porcelain skin, his hands now clutching the bed sheets. Cum still drips from his aching erection. You shift your weight, slowly sliding your large dick into him, not wanting to hurt him too badly. You can hear his breath hitch as you put in every inch of your length. Grabbing his thighs, you start to thrust in and out of him tantalizingly slow. The floor creaks with each movement you make.

Shouting his precious name, you push into his warm entrance, sliding in and out, trying to hit his sweet spot; you succeed with a sharp cry that comes from his painted lips. He moves his waist to your rhythm, in a chorus of panting, moaned names, and the sound of flesh slapping against flesh. The climax comes, making you thrust into your boyfriend one last time.

''CAL-!'' ''DIRK-!''

Silvery white cum spills onto the bed and Cal's chest, heaving with exhaustion. You rest your head on his rising and falling upper half, bringing him into a trembling embrace. After this, everything will be completely flipped upside down. It almost makes you want to cry, because no one will ever look at you the same way again when you announce this taboo relationship.

Except for Cal. He'll always be there, to give you another smile to keep you going.

* * *

**I know it may be like, really OUT THERE. But I couldn't contain this anymore; inspiration struck me like a striding hoof beast high on Faygo. So naturally, I translated it into words. Though it's okay if you might not like it (my friend said it was the creepiest pairing she had seen me make so far, and that's saying something). I just typed it up for fun. =^w^=**

**Well, thanks for reading anyways! HAAHAAHEEHEEHOOHOO!**


	5. JanexRoxy

You stare out the window absently. The tantalizing smell of near-done cake wafts towards you from the heated oven, but you ignore it. Things have been rough for you lately; Jake decided to turn gay on you suddenly, hooking up with Mr. Anime-Robot-Geek. You found out you have a long-lost brother. And guess what? Looks like the massive company you thought you were going to inherit is apparently going to be sold to some crazy lady from Russia. So many things are shifting around you, making it hard to think about without wishing everything wasn't transforming so rapidly.

The only thing that hasn't changed is Roxy.

Your gal pal has always been there, lending any friend in distress unwavering support. Even in your worst of times, she still manages to surprise you with unexpected get-togethers, sauntering in with a broad smile on her confident face. Today you have a feeling she'll be popping in the hopes of lifting your spirits up. You're not even sure that the miracle-worker Roxy Lalonde could pull off anything this time. The situation just seems too hopeless.

''Hey there, Focker! Oops, I mean, Crocker!'', Roxy shouts happily, swinging open the front door to the kitchen. You stand up and smile, trying your best not to feel as horrible as you do on the inside.

''Hello Roxy. I'm making a vanilla cake right now, but I'm stuck on whether to put on blueberries or strawberries...'' You pass a glance at two bowls of berries sitting on the table next to you. Roxy's smile falls a little. Seems like she saw through your feeble act already.

A new record.

''Janey'',Roxy sets her hands on your shoulders,'' everything is going to be alright. Ain't nothing too hard to conquer. We're both in this together, and I'm not going to let you fall. Now let's eat some cake!'' As if right on cue, the oven beeped, signaling that the cake was ready to be ravaged by the girls.

* * *

''Roxaroo, I don't think you should drink another bottle.''

It's only been half an hour since she came to your house, and she's already downed her third bottle of liquor. You worry one day she's going to lose a kidney or something. You snatch the dark bottle of wine away from her grabbing hands, earning a small whimper of protest from the drunken girl as you put away the bottle into the cabinet. You turn around, facing a Roxy who's decided to make your table her new bed. She snores softly, in a way you've considered cute; hearing her soft, sleepy ramblings in past sleepovers remind you that at least one person in your messed up life can still sleep soundly.

As you clean up the left overs from the cake, a tall man barges through your door. His black hair is messy, and his breath smells like he's been drinking as much liquor Roxy has. He stares at you with bloodshot eyes.''Jane, you got any money on you? I ran out.''

_My own brother is asking me for money only a week after he's met me. What a great guy._ You sigh, putting the dirty dishes into the sink. ''No, John, I don't. And please get out. We may be related, but that doesn't mean you can just climb in through the windows and beg me for money.''

He walks over to you, his bitter breath making you want to vomit right then and there. Up close, he looks like he hasn't showered for days. Or brushed his teeth. ''C'mon, sis, can't you spare a single dime for your poor brother? You were the one raised with our rich bastard of a father. You _always_ have money.'' His skinny yet tall frame towers over your short, chubby one. You wish you weren't so small at that moment. You can tell he's hopped up on drugs; a disastrous situation that could leave you mugged. By your own freaking brother, you add angrily.

Though you want to just punch him in the gut, your small voice squeaks out,''L-Look, John, don't make me call the cops on you. I know dad wouldn't want-''

''Who gives a damn about dad?!'' John tosses the wet dishes out of your hands, sending the disks shattering onto the tile floor. ''He never cared about me when mom left, or when she decided to kill herself and put me in an orphanage! He didn't even bother to look for me all those years! No one even attempted to adopt me, and now he thinks he can fix it with some bullshit money!'' His face is twisted into a drunken rage with red splotches spreading over his shaggy face. Every time you see him, he just gets has no job, relies on dad to give him some money, and you don't even know if he has somewhere to live. Now you can't help but believe he'll die as much of a pitiful death as his mother at this rate.

_Is that how I will turn out?_ You think silently, pitying the man before you. Then it's washed away by sheer fear when he grabs the collar of your white shirt, raising his fist in blind rage. You close your eyes. Hopefully this won't hurt too much.

A bottle comes crashing over his head. John's shocked expression falls to the floor along with his body. Roxy stands over him, swaying from side to side unsteadily with a dazed look on her face. She looks up at you, and gives you a lop-sided smile.

''Okay there, Shaney?'' She walks over the crumpled man, dropping the bottle on top of his back.''She didn't shurt you, did she?'' You giggle, the liquor making her slur her words in the funniest way only Roxy could achieve. _Looks like she came to my rescue again. Guess I'll be baking another cake for her in the near future._

''Yeah. Thanks for saving me back there. He was about to deck me in the face, so I'm real glad you came in before he had the chance. Can you help me, uh, dispose of him?'' You grab his arm, scratching the back of your head with your free hand. Roxy nods shakily, grabbing his legs awkwardly. Slowly, but not really carefully (which ends up banging the guy's head against the wall once or twice) you set him against a wall in a nearby park; Roxy draws on his face, signing it with some really rude words and pictures. She stands up, pleased with her work. You make it back to your house,about to enter the front door when Roxy collapses to her knees.

You rush over to the faint girl, wrapping her arm over your shoulders and supporting her with your arms.'' Roxaroo, are you okay?'' Concern for her rushes over you, making you remember that this girl has just drank three whole bottles of wine.

She tries to smile, but ends up looking like someone just kicked her in the shins.''I-I feel fine. But, um,can I shtay over for the night?''You nod, helping her to her feet, bringing her into your warm house that shines its soft light on your shivering body.

* * *

After about ten p.m. or so, you start to doze off while knitting, wondering about what you'll do about your financial problems. You definitely can't rely on applying for a job at the company you were supposed to inherit, now that it's being sold to a war-like woman. She would work you down to your core; you were sure of that when you met her on the day dad said he was going to sell the company. The bad memory is still is fresh in your mind. You frown.

_What __**will**_ _I do? I can start over and start from scratch, maybe open a small bakery. It would be hard at first, I guess, but maybe __Roxy__ can help me. _You smile, rocking back and forth in your favorite rocking chair. If Roxy decided to open a bakery with you, you would pass out from future without Roxy is one very bland future to you.

You stand up, bundling up the yarn and putting it back into the wicker basket set on the table. You look over at Roxy, who is passed out on your couch; you haul her up the stairs into your bedroom, making sure you're as gentle as possible.

Setting her on the bed, you suppose it should be enough to just remove her shoes, socks, and scarf. You climb into the bed after changing into some sky-blue pj's, throwing the blankets over the both of you, turning off the light emanating from the lamp beside your bed. When everything is enveloped in darkness, Roxy snakes her arms over your body, mumbling something about ''cakes and ponies''. Her breath brushing against your face makes you blush.

You smile, hugging her back. Who needs some guy when you've got the best gal pal in the world in front of you?

* * *

In the soft morning rays, the both of you wake up, stretching out your aching limbs. Roxy rubs her forehead, with her face twisted into a deep scowl. Looks like the hangover has finally arrived.

''Argh, Jane, why didn't you stop me from drinking all that booze last night? I have such a freaking headache.'' She tries to stand up, then realizes that her legs won't work; she settles for using the wall as support. You hop off the bed. Your nightdress lifts up, and you hastily pull it up so Roxy doesn't see your underwear.

''Sorry. I just thought you could control yourself. But, hey, I can make us some oatmeal, okay?'' You pat her shoulder, giving her the most encouraging smile you can muster in your exhausted with your worthless brother makes you feel more tired than usual.

Roxy grins impishly. ''I think I'll be needing more than that...'' Her face tips towards yours, so slowly that you could have had a chance to back up, or knock some sense into the girl. You wonder if she's still your mind, you secretly start counting all the things that make you think this isn't such a bad idea. She's not a bad girl; she's always had your back, lending a hand when your supposed 'charming' crush would flat-out make up some excuse just so he could go off adventuring with Dirk. Roxy's charming smile out-shined Jake's, with her soft hands able to guide you out of despair. She may not seem like the dependable type, but she's the most trustworthy and supportive person you've ever met.

And nowadays, you need someone who can support you.

You gently meet her lips in a kiss; she smells like liquor, too much perfume, and cats. Surprisingly, she tastes like strawberries and vanilla icing even though she has been drinking excessively. When you part, you're left wanting for another kiss. Suddenly Jake doesn't seem so attractive. The fantasy of working side-by-side with Roxy seems so much clearer now, and you can just smell the dozens of cakes you'll be passing hours to bake, laughing the whole time with your gal pal. No, not your gal pal.

''My girlfriend...'' You whisper to yourself. Roxy tilts her head to the side, going back to being the dazed girl with a hangover.

''Whuh...?'' She gives you another funny grin. You giggle, hooking your arms around her shoulders. You guide her downstairs with a giddy feeling in your chest.

''Don't worry, I'll tell you once your hangover has passed.''You say, letting her head lean into your shoulder. As you make your way downstairs, you think to yourself:

_I guess __Roxy__ the miracle worker has done her job,huh?_

* * *

**This was such a nice chapter. Though it was hard to concentrate on it because I was typing at like five a.m. in the morning, and there was some pretty creepy noises coming from the hallway... =TTATT=**

I still managed to update somehow again... SEE YOU NEXT TIME! 


	6. BrobotxJake

Burning blood runs down the side of your face, smearing your glasses and making the world seem like a blurry painting of green, red,blue... and gray. Throwing the gun away, you get into a defensive position; you know you're about to be royally served. Brobot's orange anime shades cast a lurid glare in your shielded eyes in the bright tropical sunshine, making it all the harder for you to concentrate on his swift adrenaline rushing in your veins makes your heart pound in your ears; you hastily decide to put the last ounce of strength you've got in a final head-on attack. You run towards him desperately and- oh shit he's gone.

''You missed me.'' Brobot lands a steel-packed punch into your gut. You fall to the floor, sputtering out blood.

Clutching your chest, you stumble to your knees. Your breaths come out in ragged gasps. ''I'm not... finished...yet...''

Brobot's hands suddenly appear at your waist, bringing you up to his emotionless face. Cold fingers run through your black locks of hair. '' I guess I'll just have to finish you off right now.'' If he could smile, you swear he would right bloody robot claims victory each time, and claiming you right after. You knew what was going to happen next. And it turned you on.

Skilled metal fingers wrap around your manhood, squeezing the throbbing length that begs to be freed from the restrictive shorts. Your breath catches in your throat. Brobot pulls you closer, sneaking his other arm into your shirt. The smooth palm seductively massages your back with chilled sensations traveling up your spine, releasing the tension packed into your nerves from fighting. Down below the robot's fingers unzip your shorts slowly, wrapping themselves around your rising cock. Brobot leans in. His voice comes out in a way that you never thought was possible for an emotionless robot; low, husky, and absolutely full of desire.

''I want you.''

You hug him, bringing his chest to yours. Radiating warmth emanates from the lifeless chest.''Take me then.''

He pins you to the soft grassy floor. Two extra arms emerge from either side of him, spreading your legs, throwing every article of clothing off of you. Eager metal fingers begin to rub the head of your length, a cold palm cupping your balls. Two chilly fingers enter your hot bottom, pushing deeper into the warmth-filled entrance; crimson blush spreads across your lust-filled face, your eyes gazing deep into Brobot's deep orange shades. You grab his shoulder plates as he adds another finger in your probing fingers thrust into you; your hips push against them, not wanting the heavenly torture to end.

''F-faster...!'' You mumble through your obeys, with another surprise to add.

A long metal dick unsheathes itself from his waist area and rubs against yours, making you buck your hips in pleasure. One of his hands travels through your raven locks, cupping your face; the smooth metal thumb traces your bottom lip lightly. The slender fingers slip into your mouth, and you start to suck on them shamelessly. Brobot's slicked fingers exit your backside; you whimper, begging Brobot to not stop. Hard, slender metal penetrates you, silencing your complaints when you bite your lips to contain the screams of pleasure. Delicious vibrations travel into the whole of your aching body, up your spine, clouding your thoughts. You arch your back, shouting Brobot's name into the empty clearing.  
Chilled fingers start to rub both of your nipples, the pink buds protruding from your heaving chest. Brobot grabs your waist and thrusts his vibrating dick into your tight entrance. You grab his shoulders, wrapping your trembling legs around his steel-plated back. His hands are still running along your own throbbing length, slick precum dripping down the metallic run down the sides of your face; vermillion blood mixes with the clear drops, sending tiny rivers slowly traveling down your exposed body. You can't believe how wonderful it feels to be fucked by a robot; the vibrations begin to hum at a rougher pace, sliding in and out of your body so wonderfully. Brobot's fingers work their way around your thighs, nipples,abs, back, even in your mouth where your tongue licks them lustfully.

''Bro...bot...h-harder...''You moan. Obeying silently, he starts to steadily increase his pace until you can't hold it in anymore. The climax approaches, and you scrape Brobot's back with your fingernails in endless pleasure.

''Brobot...!'' You yell, grabbing his steely back for dear life. Milky threads of cum land on your sweaty face, strings of the warm liquid sticking onto Brobot's hands. The humming vibrations die down as you release your load. You sigh, a crooked grin of satisfaction spreading across your pleased face.

He sure finished you off, all right.

* * *

In the shadows of the forest, you walk unsteadily, supporting yourself against a tall tree. No rays of soft moonlight send their helpful rays into the dark forest below; nothing but darkness is what is ahead. You rub your wet eyes; tears spill down your face, leaving your dirt-covered hands damp with your sadness. Hoping to calm yourself, you continue to plunge into the shadowed depths of the dense forest.  
Light reflects off a swishing katana; the razor-sharp blade stops centimeters from your throat. Brobot steps out of the leafy coverage of the trees. His shades glow menacingly. You couldn't care any less that this would mean an immediate strife. Instead, you openly welcome it in this desolate night. Locking and loading your gun, you stare at Brobot with empty eyes.

''I suppose you're hankering for a jolly strife? Well, you've got one.'' You fire two shots at his head; of course, they miss when he flash-steps out of range.

You feel, rather than see, his form reappearing behind you. He raises his arm to strike. Unexpected skill floods your head, and you side step before he gets the chance to slice a wound on your shoulder. You quickly aim for his shoulder blades. They're blasted off,becoming shards of metal blown into the dark night. Brobot goes into a defensive position, then flies into the air in a quick burst of bright fire.

_Cheater..._ You think sourly.

Flashes of Brobot's katana are all you see. Blood blooms from your shoulders, paying you back for the previous attack. You grind your teeth in searing pain, then force your arm to lift the pistol. Brobot swoops down low, his glaring katana aiming to plunge into your weak human body. Not this time.  
It only took a few shots to finish Brobot off. You stand there as he crumples to the floor; both of his disconnected legs are twenty feet katana is thrown halfway into the trunk of nearby tree. Dropping your gun on the grassy earth, you stand over Brobot. You swing your legs on either side of him, bending down to his unmoving molded lips. You kiss his lips, licking the tangy metal. The sharp taste brings you a small sensation of happiness.

''Don't leave me.'' You whisper, resting your head on Brobot's warm chest. Its comforting heat lulls you into a calm trance.

Brobot's arms wrap themselves around you.''Why would I do that?''

''Because-'' you swallow a sob-''because Dirk doesn't love me anymore. He told me today. He loves miss Lalonde, and after all he did to court me. I thought you would be gone by now, just like him.'' Every word kills you on the inside, twisting your stomach into tight knots. You didn't expect such a blow. But maybe Dirk knew what happened after almost every strife. Maybe he got sick of it , or didn't care and just decided to send his passion to someone else. Maybe he was just messing with you from the very beginning.

''I'm not like Dirk. I know things he doesn't.'' Brobot's shades take on a comforting glow, not letting go of your passionate gaze.'' I know that when you smile the sun seems to shine brighter. I know you like to gaze out the window and count how many birds pass by. I know you wake up early every morning, waiting for another adventure.'' Brobot's hands traveled up your back, massaging the tension away in soft, tender strokes.

''I know that I love you.''

Sparkling drops of tears fall on his shades. Your vision is clouded by the running tears;you can't stop yourself. You cry and cry, hugging Brobot. You cry until there's nothing to let out anymore. When it feels like hours have passed by, you finally stop. A small shaft of moonlight filters through the tree canopies, spilling onto the small clearing.

You close your eyes, letting the light envelop you. ''Dirk never was really there, was he? In the end, his own robot stole the treasure right under his nose.'' You laugh softly, lifting your face and planting another kiss on Brobot's lips.

''How ironic.''

* * *

**Oh the feels! I really wish there were more BrobotxJake fanfics out there, along with fanart. It's such a beautiful pairing. But like so many obscure pairings, there isn't much fan stuff for that's why I typed this up for you lovelies!**

THANKS FOR READING!


	7. GamzeexEridan

Green, blue, fuschia... shades upon shades of alien blood are splattered messily against the black earthy rock walls. You grip your wand; only one more pheasant to finish off. You know he's most likely murdered the rest of your ''friends'', wherever he is. Though that may be true, he will come after you once he's done with his last victim. Why the last? Because you certainly aren't going to end up with a dumb look on your face, lying on the floor soaked in your own precious blood. Gamzee would surely get his filthy fingers covered with your luxurious color just to coat the dull walls in a primitive art work. You're not even sure if you can call it art.

_HONK._ You freeze. Your eyes grow wide at the tiny echo, knowing it's signaling a formidable foe. You attempt to stop your hand from shaking in vain.

_HONK._ You turn around. The sound seems to be coming from behind you. You swiftly get into a strifing position, brandishing your wand nervously.

_HONK._ No one comes. You wait a few more minutes; no lanky, ominous silhouette makes his way down the hall. No reeking scent of Faygo and who knows what other uncodly odor betrays the oncoming force of a sober juggalo.

_Maybe he's not coming._ You think hopefully.

''Hey there, motherfucker.''

You slowly turn your head around. Gamzee's mad face is only centimeters away from your own, his half-lidded blood-shot eyes driving ice-cold daggers into your skin. All of your courage drains away, leaving only an empty husk of yourself. You know you can't win.

''Hello, G-Gam... I, uh...um...'' _Great, now I'm stuttering like __Tav__. If only he was here I could just..._

''Did you know I've always wanted to make motherfucking miracles with you?'' Gamzee inches closer; you can smell the rancid stench of slime in his breath. His bloody hands grab your waist, and he licks your cheek. You freeze. _Is he going to rape me...?_

You take a shaking 's still need to panic.''G-Gam, if you really are red for me, then you could just l-let me go. This isn't-''

''No.'' Gamzee's voice turns lethal. His serene grin widens; his hands are now rubbing your thighs gently, moving up seductively. One sly hand floats over to the pants zipper, slowly unzipping the protective cloth.

Okay, now you can panic.

You raise your wand defensively, aiming it at Gamzee's head.''Whale, I'm not about to just give up either.'' Gamzee chuckles mirthfully, then snaps your wand in half like it was made from candy. He leans in, pressing his warm body against you, sending shivers up your spine. That's when you realize this situation is hopeless; you're starting to submit to the taller troll, letting his hands sneak lustfully into your pants. You gasp as he fondles your hardening length, grabbing his shoulders as he wraps one arm around and tugs off your scarf, sucking at your flaring gills. He licks them hungrily, letting his tongue dart in the small slits. You tighten your hold on him, throwing your head you like this so much is because no one has ever really loved you before, or actually wanted to touch you like this. You tilt your head back, spreading your legs so Gamzee can roughly insert one of his fingers into your hot entrance. Moans escape your lips shamelessly. In your head you hope no one can hear you.Gamzee licks your lips, and you let him slide his slick tongue into your mouth. He hungrily wrestles with your tongue, smashing his lips against you passionately.

''D-Don't be so rough... please...'' you moan, trying not to sound like you're enjoying this. You fail miserably.

''Bend down, motherfucker.'' Gamzee whispers in your ear. He unzips his own pants, revealing his writhing tentabulge.

You gulp. Kneeling in front of Gamzee, you look up at his calm face one more time; he still grins at you, grabbing locks of your silky raven hair and guiding you to his throbbing erection. You look at the huge thing in front of you anxiously. Cum spills out of the moving length that seems to be much bigger than your own. You swallow the jealousy burning in your throat. Now's not the time to be thinking about that. You tentatively lick the bulge, then slowly take in every inch, tangling your tongue with the slick tentacle probing your mouth. You try not to gag, clutching Gamzee's hips as he starts to buck. ''Motherfuck... Eridan, faster...!'' You obey, lavishing his writhing length with your cum-slicked he removes his bulge from your mouth, and leans down.

''Get on your motherfucking knees...''The lustful words send hot plumes of his breath down your neck, making pools of violet spill across your face.

You get down on your knees submissively. You can feel the tip of his tentabulge enter your entrance; you close your eyes and dig your nails into the floor to brace yourself for the rest of him. A massive writhing length enters your tight backside that rips a shaky scream from your lips. ''G-Gamzee! Ah, I... don't be so, ahn...!'' Pain melts into pleasure; sweat coats your body, forcing the temperature in the room to steadily rise as Gamzee thrusts his moving length into you forcefully. He honks, fitting himself deeper and deeper into you. You scream, his wriggling bulge hitting your sweet spot. ''Oh cod! Ah! Yes, right there!''

As shameful as it is, you can't help but start to beg him for more. Gamzee grabs your own tentabulge, sliding his thumb and index finger across your length, over and over again. You moan uncontrollably, closing your eyes in pure pleasure. The climax hits you in full force; both you and Gamzee come, spreading your genetic material all over the cold floor and your hot bodies.

Gamzee pulls out, letting you crumple to the floor. You sit up, realizing that you can't sit down properly due to your overly-sore bottom. You look up, finding yourself gazing into Gamzee's glazed over amber eyes. _Even if he's sober, even if he did just rape me, I think I just fell in love with him._ You lick your lips nervously, then decide it's for the best to just spit it out. ''Do you really love me?''

Gamzee pulls on his underwear, and sits down in front of you. He cups your face lovingly, planting a soft kiss on your moist lips. ''Of course I do, Eridan. You're the best motherfucking thing I've ever seen. Even better than the motherfucking messiahs.'' He chuckles, wrapping your scarf around your neck. You blush, letting his cool fingers brush your heated skin.

''I love you, too. Even if you did kinda just... raped me.''

''Bro, it's not rape if you like it.'' You guess he has a good point there.

* * *

**RAPE! Sorry about that. I just couldn't resist it. You don't know what kind of batshit crazy crap you get when you try to Google this pair.I saw some pretty weird stuff, trust meh.*honk* This one-shot was inspired by some random fanfics I ran into on accident, and I started thinking about the time when Gamzee started killing everyone, and how Eridan had also did some of his own chizz too. Then things kinda went lemony, and that's how I ended up writing this! Funny how things work out. Heheheheh...**

SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


	8. Dave x Shota! John

Your name is Dave Strider. Today is the day your life made a change for the worst. Of course, you being the clueless protagonist, and I being the awesome omniscient narrator, you don't quite know that yet. Apparently a new family is moving in across your street, into the house where your life-long pal Jade used to live; also, this family is apparently related to the Harleys, and have a seven-year-old son named John. You were kinda hoping he was closer to your age so you could have someone to hang out with, but it looks like your wish isn't going to be granted. Looking outside the window, you stare at the little boy who scurries about, weaving through the grown-up's legs as they carry out boxes upon boxes of belongings and heavy pieces of furniture. His jet-black hair intrigues you, a tint of dark brown in those short, spiky locks of his. He giggles, swinging around a beaten up bunny; he has an adorable overbite.  
You frown, and as much as you think the kid is cute, he can't just suddenly replace Jade. She was always there for you, making sure you didn't crack under pressure. Being a Strider is an overbearing thing, knowing you'll soon be inheriting multiple businesses that deal with kids like you. And you know how demanding you can be. Even if your bro, Dirk, doesn't look much like a business man, people would be surprised to hear how much he talks about work at home, always reminding you to show the kind of cool attitude and clear mind a real Strider possesses. You run your hand through your hair. Might as well greet the new neighbors.

''Dave, get your ass out here and help the neighbors move in.'' Dirk flash-steps around the corner, dressed in only a white tank-top and jeans. His spiky hair is messily made. It's already 11 Am, but you're pretty sure that he just woke up. Probably from working all night long. Again.

''Why don't you help too?'' You shove your hands in your pockets; you do not appreciate it when he bosses you around.

''I can't. Have a bunch of work to do.'' He shrugs. Same thing he says every time. You're sick of it, really. He almost never does anything but work.

You open the front door, then a brilliant idea enters your mind. Before you leave the house, you look over your shoulder with a smug smirk tugging at your lips. You snatch Lil' Cal from the floor, taking out your secret weapon that will end this reign of douchebaggery. A recorder had been installed in Cal's eyes secretly, videotaping some very... taboo-like things. You brandish it, watching Dirk's eyes grow as wide as records. '' This was installed a week ago. And I know what you do at night, when no one's watching. Let's just say Jake would be very disappointed. '' You pause dramatically.''So, are you gonna help or not?''

Dirk cusses.''Fuck. Fine.''

You're pretty sure he's gonna get you back real good, though for now victory is sweet.

* * *

''Hello there! I'm John! Who are you?''

John grins, hugging his stuffed bunny closely. His happy face makes you melt, and you smile back shuffle your feet, trying not to look directly into that compelling face of his. Good thing no one else is around, or else they'd see how uncool you're acting. ''Dave. Dave Strider. I live across the street.''

The little boy's face lights up; you're blinded by him, resisting the impulse to cover your eyes from the cuteness.''Really? You guys are pretty cool! Your big brother- um, I think it was Duck- Duck wears some really funny shades. I like yours better.'' He reaches out and takes off your aviators. You would have flipped your shit then, with your scarlet eyes and all, but John only showed a slight expression of surprise on his face. He slips on the shades, sitting on the couch next to you. ''Your eyes look cool. Does your brother have the same color as you?''

You shake your head.''His eyes are orange.'' Gazing into John's sapphire eyes, you're entranced by how beautiful they look in the soft sunlight flowing from the window. His soft, full pink lips edge closer to you, and you want to ravage that alluring face of his.

John leans towards you, ogling at your eyes. His body rests on yours, and you can feel his warmth heating your side. Your heart skips several beats when the little boy's breath fans across your face; suddenly wild roses bloom across your fair cheeks. When John is only inches from your face, still searching deep into your fiery orbs, you gently grab his waist and settle his small body into your lap. You nervously lick your lips. John gives you a confused look as you lean forward, tenderly pressing your lips against his. It all happens so fast, inside this little guy's room, the adults outside completely unaware of what was happening right under their noses. Quite fascinating how nobody came in.

You lick John's lip and he parts them uncertainly, feeling the hot sensation of your tongue brushing up against his. You probe deeper, sucking on his slick muscle hungrily, nibbling his bottom lip. He gasps, grabbing your shirt.''Dave,w-what are you doing...? I feel so...ah, weird...'' He moans as you gently snake your hand down his pants, fondling his small dick.

_This is wrong. What the hell am I doing._ You take out your hand guiltily, sliding your tongue out of his sweet mouth. John catches his breath, resting his head against your chest. ''I'm sorry. I... I'll go now...'' You get off the bed, picking up John and placing him on the floor. He gives you the most super effective puppy-eyes you've ever seen. You're frozen in front of the door by the pure cuteness.

''You'll come back right?'' He grabs your sleeve sadly, pouting. ''That... that felt good. Can you do it again when you come back?''

Shit.

You mumble an eager yes, swiftly departing before the kid could rope you into doing something else.

* * *

Guilt is nothing as you make your way to John's house. You're wearing your usual white t-shirt with the black recorder on the front, a pair of loose denim jeans thrown on messily. John's parents asked you a few days ago to babysit John while they're away, letting you have up to four hours of alone time. _Perfect._Carelessly ringing the bell, you suddenly feel self-conscious, sweeping your gaze over your appearance.

You look like crap.

''Oh, hello Dave! You're right on time.'' John's mom smiles, gesturing for you to enter their .Egbert stands near John, reciting the rules he needs to remember while they're gone. John passes you a glance, smiling merrily.

After John's parents leave, you close the door shut, locking it tightly. John climbs onto the couch, blushing slightly. Turning to him, you see he's left a space for you, patting the spot next to him.''Dave, can we kiss again?'' He looks up at you; hope, nervousness, and embarassment mix together in those sparkling sky-colored orbs of his. You stride over, sitting on the couch and fitting little John into your lap. This may be the most fucked up thing you'll ever do, but for some reason your racing heart tells you to get on with the show; you passionately kiss John's lips, tasting the faint trace of sweet vanilla cake. John grabs your shoulders, letting himself be felt up as you sneak your hand into his shirt, feeling every inch of his soft skin.

John opens his mouth, twirling his tongue around yours lustily, moaning deep into the kiss.A small bulge rubs against your leg, sticking up from John's blue pants.''Ahn...Dave, I feel so weird...''

You stop kissing him, a thread of saliva connecting your panting mouths.''Do you want me make you feel better?''

He nods anxiously. You grin, taking off his glasses along with your shades. You lay him down on the couch, pinning his hands above his head. With one free hand left, you lift up John's shirt. Tracing your thumb on one nipple, you lick the other seductively. You swirl your tongue around the pink bud, nipping it; John gasps, and you begin to feel a rabid heat build up in your pants. Fervently unbuttoning John's shorts, you kiss John's neck, trailing them down his chest, on his hard nipples, eventually arriving down below where his virgin dick throbs lustfully. The constricting underwear is thrown off, accompanied by the rest of both of your clothing. Slipping one finger into John's tight entrance, you take in his cock into your mouth. You bob your head up and down to slide your tongue across his whole length, swirling your tongue around the sensitive head. John cries out, grabbing clumps of your hair and begging for more. Tears blur his eyes, and he spreads his legs eagerly.''D-Dave... I want more,ha... Ah!''

John sighed, feeling Dave's three fingers fit themselves into him, scissoring him. Dave's length steadily rose, hearing his lover's cries of pleasure. Finally, he took his fingers out, and lined his tip to John's entrance. Starting to push in gradually, John throws his head back, arching his spine in ecstasy. Wonderful heat wrapped your cock, making you shiver in great pleasure. You thrust in greedily, letting go of John's hands and grabbing his waist. You want to feel every inch of him. Panting heavily, you gasp,''John, you feel... so awesome...'' Probably not the coolest thing you've ever said, but lust was clouding your racing mind so whatever.  
Your love just nodded, mumbling something you didn't quite catch under his breath. He trembled, a thin film of sweat on his face, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure. He screams as you thrust in forcefully (you whisper a small 'sorry'), pushing his hips against you lustily. Heat builds up in the pit of your stomach, and you could feel the climax steadily arrive as you grind against John's burning insides. You could feel the marvelous sensation of his muscles relaxing and tensing up, fluctuating so deliciously around your hard length. Suddenly you hit John's sweet spot. He yelps, clutching the couch cushions for dear life. Hitting the bundle of nerves over and over again, you can feel John quiver under you; you lick your lips hungrily, fondling the small erect cock begging to be taken care of.

''Ah, Dave, I... it's so good... ah...!'' The moans, gasps, and delectable look on John's face make you come, filling him to the very brim. Spots of bright light enter your vision.

You catch your breath, feeling warm sticky liquid flowing into John. You grab his thighs, resting yourself on John's chest as you empty out your load. ''That was... great.'' You're breathless; John smiles, his come sticking all over your hand.

''So what's your answer?''

What. You look up at John quizzically.'' To what?''

John looks down at you wistfully, running his hand through your hair.''I asked you a minute ago. Do you love me?''

He looks pretty serious. You grin, kissing his cheek.''Of course I do.'' John grins back, displaying that goofy yet cute overbite of his.

A twig snaps. You deftly jump off the couch, butt-naked, and peer through one clear window by the kitchen. Slipping your shirt on, you spot a glimpse of a dark silhouette darting through the bushes. Dirk's anime shades glare at you mercilessly, and you can see his smug grin plastered across his pale face. He flash-steps over the roofs into the distance. In his hands you glimpsed the narrow shape of a recorder; you're pretty much fucked now.

Looks like he got back at you. Real good.

* * *

**USHU~! I thought it would be nice to mix things up, just typing this one-shot in the middle of the night. It's not well-made, but it was a sort of 'hey let's try it out and see what happens' sort of thing. Though I thought it would be hilarious if Dirk just randomly showed up and videotaped the whole thing. Like a motherfucking ninja. And if you haven't heard yet from my other stories, I'm going to be moving from Arizona to Florida, meaning a crap-ton of time on the road and no Wi-Fi, meaning at least a week or so without any updates. But I'll definitely have a juicy one prepared for ya next time! =w0=  
**

**Well, THANKS FOR READING!**


	9. Grand High BloodxThe Sufferer

''I will never give in to you.''

The Grand High Blood circled around the chained prisoner viciously, a smug grin upon his painted face as he tugged at the bonds trapping the man in his place. The prisoner growled, turning his bright crimson red eyes upwards. His candy-corn horns peeked out from his midnight-black hair; his robes were in tatters, laying upon the floor in scattered shreds. The Sufferer pulled at his chains helplessly, trying to keep the last piece of his dignity intact; The Grand High Blood leaned down, tracing his index finger along the smaller man's jawline.

''I know you're near to breaking, motherfucker. How many times must I remind you of your place, how many times must I cut you and take more of your motherfucking wonderful blood?'' His nonchalant grin never wavered. The Sufferer winced as he fluttered his hot breath against his neck seductively, trying to get a taste of the alluring blood he always lusted for, nipping at his neck and drawing the warm red liquid. The High Blood chuckled at The Sufferer's helpless expression.''Tonight I'll break you myself.'' He whispered into Sufferer's ear, licking the shell to emphasize his point.

''You're disgusting...'' The Sufferer muttered, feeling hands pulling down the remainder of his pants, reaching for his rising manhood. No matter what happened, he vowed silently, he would never give in, never show a single sign of wavering. If he did, it would mean the end of his life. The High Blood would lose interest in him, therefore becoming bored of him and throwing away the broken ''toy'' to the gallows. The Sufferer grunted, feeling fingers pulling at his length. He sighed, trying not to move when his mind began to cloud with lust, feeling the sensations of the taller man's fingers on his quivering erection, precum budding on the tip and spilling down in shimmering streams. The Grand High Blood licked the head, swirling his tongue around the writhing, erect flesh; his own manhood rose and began to quiver excitedly, bulging out of his spotted pants.

The Grand High Blood let one of his hands wander to the prisoner's backside, feeling his luscious ass. He rubbed it, feeling the curves, and proceeded to insert one of his fingers into the wet nook below. The Sufferer hissed, feeling his backside being invaded by probing fingers, scissoring inside him, stretching his tight muscles wide open. He panted, adrenaline making his heart race; his crimson blood flushed his blushing face. The Grand High Blood's mouth salivated at the delicious sight, sliding his tongue along his toy's neck, nipping his soft lips. A sudden idea popped into his idea, making his grin tug wider. He stopped fondling the wriggling tentacle, unbuttoning his pants and letting his erection reveal itself. The Sufferer looked away, feeling the troll raising his hips up to his face, guiding his mouth towards the squirming erection. He gasped as the tall troll rubbed the base of his horns, making his body flush with pleasure. The Grand High Blood honked excitedly, taking this opportunity to thrust into the shorter man's mouth. His bulge invaded The Sufferer's mouth, tangling with his reluctant muscle; it squirted precum into his mouth, pooling heavily. The Sufferer gasped for air, only to be attacked by the tentacle once again, hitting his throat. He gagged, feeling his mouth stretching painfully from the moving erection, the troll above him fucking his mouth hungrily and honking happily.

''Are you motherfucking ready, pet?'' He said, pulling his pants down and removing the dripping mouth from his bulge. The Sufferer shut his legs, attempting to hide his lower half. When the taller troll let his pants and undergarments fall to his ankles, he braced himself for what was to come. He spit out the cum, shaking his head in preparation.

''Y-You monst-ahh! Ah, I h-hate you...!'' The Sufferer moaned, feeling his large pulsing bulge slide into his sopping wet nook. He clamped his mouth shut, swallowing the cries of pleasure as he felt himself being split apart deliciously, the slick tentacle sliding in and out of his dripping nook. He bit his lip so hard his bright blood trickled out, inviting The Grand High Blood to lick it; he chuckled, sliding his tongue into The Sufferer's mouth, relishing the sweet taste, sucking on his wet muscle. The Sufferer glared at him and bit down mercilessly.

''M-Motherfuck...!'' The tall troll hissed. The Sufferer smirked, but it soon faded away as he felt the torturously-slow pace of the slippery tentabulge rapidly quickened, furiously raping his heated flesh. He cried out, shutting his eyes.

''Do you like it, motherfucker? Like feeling my tentabulge fucking your nook?'' The Grand High Blood said triumphantly, throwing his head back and grabbing his prey's hips, ramming himself against the compelling tight entrance.

''Ahh! N-no, I'm-ahh...! I h-hate it, ahhn...'' The Sufferer gave out a loud moan, pulling at his bonds furiously. 'I can't keep this up much longer... no, I have to...!' He cried out, abandoning his formal vocabulary, replacing it with vulgar insults and slurred words. He shouted out streams of curses to his captor, rocking his hips to the horribly delicious pace.

''Yell my name out, motherfucker! I want you to motherfucking feel my miracles inside you!'' The Grand High Blood dug his nails into The Sufferer's sides, honking. He licked his lips, gazing at the lustful spectacle squirming below him; the smaller man eventually was reduced to ear-piercing screams, but even then he did not give up, making sure to shout out hateful comments as he panted out long moans. He shivered; he felt a tugging sensation in his stomach, feeling the climax nearing.

''Ah, I h-haah! Hate you, fu-fuck...! AHH!'' He yelled out, releasing his genetic material spill over his chest and the taller man's abdomen, thin threads of it clinging onto his sweat-drenched face.

The Grand High Blood gave out one last grunt, thrusting especially hard into the cum-slicked entrance; his indigo material flooded the prisoner's nook, landing in hot,sticky strings upon the cold floor. ''Was that good, motherfucker?'' He whispered gruffly, still gripping the shorter man's hips and pulling out; he grinned at the sound of his flesh sliding out and the extra genetic material rushing from the nook.

''It was extremely... horrendous...'' The Sufferer huffed out, holding his head high. He trembled, closing his legs that were painted completely indigo.

''One day, I WILL break you...'' The Grand High Blood promised, pulling up his pants and making his way towards the heavily bolted door. He swung it open with ease, passing one wistful glance to the sopping wet troll still holding his fervent glare at him.

''That will NEVER happen.''

* * *

** What do ya think? I've always wanted to do a GHB and Sufferer lemon fanfic. And I apologize for the extremely long wait; I'm finally at mah house, and it has GREAT internet! FINALLY!'**

** Since sometimes I just don't know what to write for, I'll accept requests from yah lovelies. Of course, you're gonna have to specify whether you want lemon, lime, or fluff, or else it will automatically become a lemon or lime. HOO HOO HOO!' =w0=**

** THANKS FOR READING!**


	10. BroxSollux

He's probably the biggest douchebag you've ever met. But at the same time he turns you on.

Before that shitwreck of an event occurred, you were traveling with your best bro, Dave Strider, to his house located in the Land of Heat and Clockwork. Once you stepped on the front of his house, you were already coated in sweat from the fervent heat emanating from below; swirling, fiery lava massed below, threatening to engulf anything that dared to come too close. You try to ignore the horrendous heat, entering Dave's house. Both of you are surprised to find an older human male snoozing on the couch, covered with- what the hell are those? The dolls resemble Terezi's scalemates, except they were very- plump. Dave sighs, running a hand through his blonde hair.

''Bro, what the hell are you doing here. I thought you were at your own place.'' Dave reaches out to the man, who reacts lightning-quick, grumbling something incoherent. Dave just shrugs, walking over to the video games stacked in front of the flat-screen TV, rummaging through the various trash. You shoot a confused look at him, settling down at the end of the couch. Apparently this is his lusus? He's only wearing a wife beater and a pair of black boxers. Great first impression. You don't really care, so you pick up one of the soft dolls, examining its strange features.

''What ith thith?'' You ask curiously. Dave gives a disgusted look at the doll.

''A smuppet. You shouldn't touch it.'' He resumes his rummaging silently.

Out of frank curiosity, you squeeze the plump rear end of the ''smuppet''; it feels like smooth silk under your fingers. For some reason you're tempted to do it again.

''Like it? I created it myself. You can do a lot more with it though.'' Suddenly a husky voice reverberates into your ear, fanning hot breath against the right side of your face. A hand is resting on your thigh. One arm wraps around your skinny shoulders, bringing you face-to-face with Dave's lusus.

That's when you realize he's fucking hot.

''Like what?'' You ask. You're pretty confident what people do with this, but you're eager to hear the answer come from his enticing lips. He catches your wanting stare, smirking lightly.

''So many things. I can teach you every one of them...'' He leans in, licking the shell of your seductively.

Bright gold blush blooms across your gray cheeks; Bro chuckles, removing his pointed, triangular shades. You almost gasp at the brilliant orange orbs staring at you, coming closer with each second. Bro kisses you, licking your lips. You let him enter, feeling his wet muscle tangle with your forked tongue, sliding in between the nook, sucking on it. A stray hand rubs the base of your horn, making you shiver from the delicious touch. You moan, digging your claws into the smuppet in your hands. Bro rips your shirt off, tossing it to the side; it lands on top of Dave like a passive-aggressive towel. He turns around, flipping his shit coolly.

''Seriously? Right in front of me?''

''What?'' Bro stops kissing you, making you whimper very slightly.''Want to join?''

''Hell no. I'm out of this hell hole. See you later, Captor.'' Dave gives you a half-assed wave, absconding into the dark abyss above. You gaze at his red silhouette leaving the planet's atmosphere, strangely feeling a bit disappointed. Oh well. His loss.

Bro plucks the smuppet out of your hands, inserting its proboscis into your drooling mouth. You suck eagerly, too horny to care if you're acting like a total slut at this point. ''Ahn, I want... ah! I want you...!'' You moan, feeling the plush length being thrusted into your drooling mouth; you suck on it loudly, clawing at Bro's back hungrily.

Putting down the smuppet, Bro deftly removes his shirt. You salivate at his carved chest, running your fingers along his chiseled abs like they were fucking gold. They probably are. Bro unbuttons your pants, tossing them off along with his own. Now you can perfectly see his hard erection, peeping out of the fold of his boxers. Since you have two, make it double for yourself. Bro licks his lips, sliding his tongue down your chest, nipping and playing with your nipples before he works down to your tentabulges. He reveals your two writhing dicks, raking his tongue over both, letting the slick tentacles wrap around his fingers, fondling them roughly. You buck your hips, grabbing locks of his blonde spiked hair, moaning his name. ''Bro, f-fuck! I-ah! I'm so, ah yes right there! So close...!'' You shout, quivering from his wonderful blowjob.

''You want me to fuck your little ass?'' Bro says, licking the tip of one tentabulge. You nod, throwing your head back when he shoves the smuppet proboscis you were sucking on earlier into your ass. It's not as big as you want it to be, but you push your hips against it nevertheless. Your mind becomes foggy, and you only feel the sensation of being filled by plush fabric, shouting out Bro's name as he keeps on bobbing his head, sucking loudly on your two bulges writhing in his mouth. He tears off your boxers, flipping you over. You pass an uncertain look over your shoulder at Bro, watching him slide the moist smuppet out of your ass.

Soon a greatly huger length enters your backside. You grit your teeth, feeling him slide into you, grabbing your hips. He pants, removing his hat and gloves before starting to move. ''You like that? Want me to fucking grind into you you filthy slut?'' He thrusts roughly, splitting you apart.

''Y-Yeth! I want you- ah! Fuck! Ahn, more... ha-aharder...!'' You shout, burying your face into the couch cushion.

He rams into you, making you bump your head against the couch arm. You moan and whimper, quivering from the pure lust filling your head, yelping loudly when he hits that sweet spot of yours. You scream, feeling him hit it over and over again, spreading your legs further apart so he can fill very inch of you.

He digs his nails into your hips, his thrusting getting more frantic by the second. You feel his warm fluids shoot into your dripping wet nook, and soon you're coming all over your chest. Yellow-tinted genetic material slides down your chest, pooling onto the couch is warm stains. You aren't cleaning that shit up though.

Bro rests his chest against your back tenderly, catching his breath and running his hands over your ribs. You bask in the afterglow with him; you eventually stop trembling. Pulling out, Bro lifts himself off of you, placing you in his lap, handing the soaking wet smuppet to you.''Here's something to remember me by.'' He kisses you softly on your lips; you feel yourself drift into a deep slumber in his strong arms(you never really had that much stamina), drifting off into the numerous dream bubbles beyond. The last thing you heard was his sweet voice, saying your name.

You're definitely coming back again.

* * *

**I feel so tired... guh, and it's not even midnight! Whyyyy?! XS Anways, I might split these one-shots apart because a)no one would be able to find the specific pairings, so lots of peeps would miss out b) it makes sure all the characters are properly organized. I just can't decide which character is the most important one here anymore. (they're all pretty awesome.) =UwU=**

**SO, THANKS FOR READING!**


	11. TerezixVriska 2

''She's over here!''

Boisterous shouts and screams echoed from behind you, dashing silhouettes scrambling madly everywhere, searching for any trace of the felonious villain who had just gotten away with a million boondollars in cash. It's only a minor setback that it's you.

''There she is!'' You look over your shoulder, flipping your blonde hair over your face. Like they could ever hope to catch you, the most awesome thief in history! You sprint over a hovering cleaner drone, ducking into a tight corner of a shining steel building. Panting heavily, you eye one of the numerous pathways constructed in this day and age; giant teleporters and revolving elevators whir around you, constructing the perfect place to lose the popo. Smirking, you leap to one turning elevator, making sure to keep the navy blue hood over your face. You don't want anyone to discover your identity prematurely, now do you?

Upon landing on one of the elevators, nicking your sleeve on the edge and hustling it up the rising stairs. You've done this so many times, it's a miracle they haven't deemed you as a butt-kickin' ninja as well. But as long those snooty news reporters and cops are spreading those blatant lies that you're just a troubled girl in need of some time in the slammer, you're going to do your best of proving them wrong. Not your fault they can't see how awesome you are. At the top of the lift, you dash into the high-end suite, kicking open the glass double-doors; people freeze in shock, letting you maneuver around the crowd with ease at first.

Then the pandemonium begins.

''IT'S THE THIEF OF LIGHT!'' One woman screeches, pale as a ghost. You smirk; how nice of them to think of a name for you. You adjust the hefty bag over your shoulders, preparing to jump out one shattered window that definitely wasn't your fault. Hehe. You leap, gracefully landing on the glassy top of another building. Hundreds of surprised people look above, watching you run for your life as the security drones zoom towards you.

''Take this!'' You shout, throwing a few of your signature dice at the levitating foes. They explode on contact, sending shards of metal flying in all directions. You duck, coughing a little from the smoke clouding the air. You make a mental note to bring a gas mask next time. Grinning wildly, you make it to a deserted alleyway, where you conveniently parked your awesome car. It's sleek blue sides shine proudly in the shadowed light, forming a nice figure fit for quick getaways.

''Going somewhere, Vanessa?'' Oh, that bitch is here. Cussing silently, your smug grin is replaced by a deep scowl.

''I just polished that thing, ya know.'' You stroll over, glaring at the red-headed girl who's been chasing after you ever since you rose to fame. Another heart to be broken, you suppose.

''I couldn't care any less. Today is the day you're put in handcuffs and taken downtown.'' She brandishes her infamous neutralizer, a cane with a crimson dragon head at the top. Flipping a switch, red sparks begin to fizz from the head, sending shivers up your spine. You gulp; getting fried isn't on your agenda last time you checked. You smile, taking on a calm aura.

''Look, I know you're into me and all that Teresa, but I am not into that kind of stuff. How about I just take you for a drive?'' You slowly place a hand on her shoulder, eyeing the handcuffs hanging from her belt.

She grabs your hand, swatting you mercilessly with her stun cane. Searing pain strikes your arm, making your eyesight go fuzzy for a few moments. You bite back a shout, almost crumbling to your feet. Looking up at her, you see the dead-serious expression looking down on you, two hands placing metal bands around your wrists. Oh hell no.

''Hyah!'' You shout, placing a deft kick to Teresa's abdomen, winding her. Taking the opportunity, you snatch up your loot with your teeth and scramble into your car. Teresa stands up again, landing a glass-shattering hit against the one of your windows. You're gonna make her pay for that.

Revving up the car, you speed off into road, soaring into the air seconds after. Unfortunately, someone is following you.''Cease this nonsense at once and turn yourself in!'' Teresa's scowling face plasters itself against your front window; you swerve to the side, attempting to throw her off. But she still holds on, smashing open the hood of your vehicle with a tempestuous blast of electricity. Suddenly her cane is pressing against your neck, restricting your movement. The car flips, throwing the both of you around like a couple of scalemates. ''GET!OFF!OF!ME!'' You scream, wildly trying to take control of the vehicle with two handcuffed hands. Teresa keeps her grip tight, gritting her teeth and hissing,''Not until you turn yourself in...!''

Cussing loudly, you drop the wheel and switch the car to auto pilot; you wrench off the cane, landing a punch to the girl's determined face. She spits out a tooth, cackling madly and showing a full set of sharp canines.''Heheh! It'll take more than that!'' She's silenced when you land a sloppy kiss to those smiling lips of hers; she blushes wildly, totally baffled. Her eyes go wide behind her rose-colored glasses; after all this time, she still leaves herself wide open.

''How about that, babe?'' You roll off the word mockingly, smirking triumphantly. Teresa grins again. ''Not enough!'' A fast left hook makes stars fly into your vision, swirling colors fading into a veil of impenetrable black.

* * *

''What the hell...?''

You groan, feeling the aching bruise left on your face by Teresa. She's cute, but devastatingly toxic if under estimated. Which, unfortunately, you've done way too many times. Someone in the far edge of your vision cackles, banging the bars installed on the small window of your prison cell door. The loud noise make your head ring; you hiss, standing up to give her a piece of your mind. Then you realize you're in a straightjacket. Well shit.

''Like the new clothes? You'll have to get used to it for all of the atrocious crimes you've committed, hehehe.'' You smirk, ignoring the blisters on your sides.

''Thanks, I think they look great. But I'll have to return them after this little play date, because they're a bit too tight for me.'' You writhe in the tight fabric; never have you had to itch this badly. Guess you should have knocked little Teresa out earlier.

''I don't think you're going anywhere for a long time, babe...'' She coos sweetly. You swear if you weren't tied up right now you would have given her what she just deserves. A small slip of paper floats into your room, floating only just out of your reach. You preferred to remain in your current position, but curiosity won over. Craning your neck, you peer over at the paper.

_Me= 34_

_You= 12_

_Did I really get captured that many times? _You wonder silently, frowning at the shameful score written in horrible handwriting. This whole thing has become a sort of competition between you two in the past few years.

''Next time it'll be 13, Teresa.'' You state boldly; that only makes her cackle mockingly. ''Hehehehe! Really? Are you insinuating you'll escape me next time, Vanessa? Because last time I checked, you barely managed to get away with a few broken ribs and had to call for back-up.'' You blush furiously.

''That was only because I was being shot at! Fuck you!'' You wish you could flip her off, but you settle for sticking out your tongue like a little kid.

''That tongue still looks as lickable as last time.'' Teresa says, wiggling her own at you in a suggestive manner. You blush harder, trying to think of a witty comeback. Did you mention you and her had this kind of hate-love relationship going on?

Teresa whacks her cane against the door again, making you recoil at the dreaded sound. You hear her sinister laugh echo down the hallway; you settle into a soft spot in the cell, leaning against one wall. Then a familiar face appears at the lone window.

''Vanbro, I heard you were all tied up and shit. Here's the motherfucking keys.'' The tinkling of metal sounds at the door; soon it swings wide open, letting in a tall, lanky male with horrible matted, black hair. He smiles serenely down at you from the inside of his indigo sweater, pocketing the keys in his black spotted pants. Soon your bonds are cut and you relish the freedom, stretching your body. Even if this guy is major pot-head and gives you the creeps, he can be pretty trustworthy whenever you're caught. Which is almost all the time. Putting on your usual thief-like bravado, you nod at your partner and the both of you depart from the cell. Time to get out of here.

* * *

Soaring across the great, wide blue sky, you feel the wonderful adrenaline flood your veins once again. Several cops on holocycles- levitating motorcycles complete with artillery installed on both sides- chase after you.

''Pull your vehicle over now! You're surrounded on all sides!''

You laugh. They call this being surrounded? Only a few security drones swarm in front of you, and though they are quite larger than the standard issue, their glaring laser cannons don't intimidate you. You barrel roll over them, dropping a few dice at them for good measure. Ear-blasting explosions rumble behind you, alarming the citizens below of your overwhelming presence.

''HALT, THIEF OF LIGHT!''

Teresa shouts into a megaphone, wielding her cane viciously. You stop the vehicle, which you stole only a couple of minutes earlier (security sure has gotten tight these days). ''Whaddya want? I don't have all day ya know!'' You declare, leaning out the window and sweeping your gaze over the little army she's managed to gather. Security drones, cops, officers, you name it. You gotta say, you're flattered.

''Surrender or face the consequences!'' You laugh; she knows this can't stop you. ''Yeah right!'' Teresa hops onto her skyrocket skateboard, zooming towards you, her cane fizzing with electricity. You rev up the car, slamming your foot on the gas pedal.

_Come and get me, babe._

* * *

**That may have not been the most romantic thing ever, but I was in an extremely actiony mood. That, and my other one-shot for this pair seemed a bit wimpy to me. This is for that Guest, wherever you are!  
**

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	12. GamzeexKarkat

Blood is the first thing you see.

You wander through the desolate hallways, desperately trying to find your moirail. Green, jade, blue, brown, purple, and gold stain the dark rooms of the lonely place you call ''home''. Your eyes dart meticulously to every corner, hoping to find one lanky figure in the midst of all this chaos. Gamzee couldn't have done this. He may be the most retarded person you've ever met, but he would never harm someone like this.

He would never want to hurt _anyone_ like this.

''G-Gamzee...?'' You call out weakly, afraid, clutching your sickles shakily. _Why am I afraid?_ Evidence of brutal kills are sprawled throughout the area, yet you trundle past them without sparing a second thought. Each death is as inexplicable as the other; seems like half the group is already deceased. But you never know. This game has too many surprises to leave the dead in peace.

_HONK._

_Gamzee...? _Hope bubbles in your chest. Maybe you can get to him before anything else happens.

Skirting through one bloodbath after another, you conclude that everyone on this shitty asteroid have finally gone insane. Except for your best friend. No, he's more than that. He's your flush crush, and the only reason you two aren't matesprits is because of this.

The fear.

The inescapable fear of being torn apart by your own lover. After so long, you've grown to hate and despise sopor slime; you've even alchemized a human bed to sleep on. The only nightmares you have are of shifty, tall figures and laughing shadows. You shudder, leaning against one frigid stone wall. You can't go on like this anymore; the indigo text floating across your PDA glares at you viciously, testifying against your clouded thoughts. Gamzee is mad, and he is rampaging through this meteor at this very moment. And you're the only one who can stop him. Gathering yourself, you climb up the stairs, one at a time, making it to the outside surface of the floating rock; dim sunlight faintly warms you, though the impenetrable cold of space still bears down on you like a massive weight. You can't fail him now.

_HONK._

''Sup Karbro. Came to join the corpse party?'' Gamzee's calm voice floats over to you; you whirl around, brandishing your sickles. Gamzee stops smiling. ''What's all up with that look on your face? Something wrong, best friend?''

He meanders towards you, lugging the bloodied juggling pins. Green and blue. Before, you didn't care much for the trolls slaughtered by those demonic weapons, but now you can't help but feel pity. A cold hand rests on your shoulders, bringing you face to face with someone you don't recognize. Three indigo streaked slash marks stretch across his red-eyed face, cracked pale make-up smeared across his eerily serene complexion. This isn't Gamzee. This is a stranger whose taken control of him. A subconscious manifestation of years of terrible up-bringing, sopor slime, and weak moiraillegance.

You still blame yourself to this very day.

A hard and fast strike sends your head spinning, splattering your candy-red mutant blood over the dark earth. Hot blood cascades down your face, making you grimace at the irony taste flooding your mouth. You squeak, dropping your sickles. The stranger kicks them aside, grinning as he picks you up by the collar of your shirt, bringing you in until you can see every stain across his gray face. ''It's too bad you're a mutant. But I motherfucking guess you can be my pet.'' He chuckles mirthfully, making your shiver. Grabbing his hands, you squirm in his strong hold, gazing at him tenderly. You don't want to hurt him, yet he will break you if you aren't careful.

''G-Gamzee... this isn't you, you... have to fight it...!'' You struggle to lift one of your hands, softly papping his face. ''Shooosh, calm down...'' For a moment, he seems to return to normal, almost releasing his tight hold on you; then he throws you to the floor with a loud, rage-infested scream.

''DON'T YOU DARE MOTHERFUCKING TOUCH ME, YOU LOW-BLOOD!''

''Ahh!'' You cry out as the hard earth catches you, sending sky-rocketing pain up your sides. Staggering to your feet wearily, you gather the last of your resolve and sprint towards the swaying clown, empty-handed. He raises his juggling pins, ready to strike. _Twenty feet. Ten feet. Five feet. Three... two..._

Ducking under one of his swinging arms, you lock your hands behind his neck, pressing your heaving chest against his. You proceed to kiss him passionately. He freezes; the loud thud of the juggling pins sound from behind you, and you feel two cold hands run through your hair. Soon his heavy breathing slows down; a small grin forms against your lips, and a tongue licks your bottom lip curiously.

''You taste so sweet, Karbro...'' Gamzee mumbles, embracing you. You purr, blushing furiously. He releases you, the crazy grin on his face evaporating into his usual, lazy smile. ''I didn't know you were all up flushed for me.'' You cross your arms, averting your gaze from those lucid, amber orbs of his. He honks softly, wrapping his long arms around you. His familiar scent washes over you, and you tentatively hug him back, burying your face into his chest to avoid discussing the embarrassing topic further. Gamzee places a chaste kiss on your head, picking you up bridal-style. ''W-What the fuck...!'' You hiss, clinging onto him.

''I'm all up and flushed for you, too.'' He looks down at you, kissing you on your cheek.''Want to be my matesprit, Karkat?''

Despite the ominous footsteps nearby, you nod, letting yourself be held by the tall troll. He honks happily, looking over his shoulder. ''There's Kanbro. She doesn't look too motherfucking happy...''

Indeed she wasn't. The first thing she did when she saw Gamzee was sprint towards him, screeching and whirling her deadly chainsaw straight towards him. ''UNHAND HIM YOU MURDERER!''

''KANAYA STOP!'' You leap out of Gamzee's arms, shielding him with your short body. Fortunately, Kanaya halts before her weapon could deal any damage. Centimeters from your profusely sweating face, you might add. She looks at you in near disbelief, furrowing her eyebrows together; the expression is replaced by her serious poker-face, the chainsaw's rumbling dying down gradually.

''Karkat, what is the meaning of this?'' She says, keeping a steady eye on your new matesprit. He waves to her. The gesture isn't returned.

''We're matesprits. It's a fucking long story and I don't feel like saying it in front of other people right now.'' You jerk your head towards the small group who have gathered on the far opposite side of the meteor, blankly staring at you. Sollux hovers in mid-air with Aradia smiling cheerily, floating only a few inches away from a blood-stained Terezi. Kanaya glances over at them; she nods at you, strolling over to them calmly. ''We will discuss this later.''

''...'' You watch her join the group; Gamzee looks at you questioningly. Now you just need to figure out how to bring him and this new relationship over there without shit flipping off the handle.

* * *

''Gamzee, Gamzee are you there?''

You search the dimly lit room, almost tripping over a few containers of bright green sopor slime. The rabid scent of Faygo attacks your lungs, and you cough, covering your mouth with your arm. You've been searching endlessly for your unpredictable matesprit for days now; you're beginning to get worried. His presence has deteriorated almost completely, being reduced to the soft honks emanating from the vents running through this shit hole. not even those last mementos remain now. Nights of cuddling have disappeared, leaving you cold and abandoned. You want to cry, to escape this fucking game of eternal shittiness; you know what's up. He can't hide it from you.

Peering at his computer, you see the last messages he typed. They were weeks ago. He barely uses this computer anymore. He barely sees you anymore. Your breath becomes ragged, and you know you're losing it; the weight of the truth comes tumbling down to you. You're alone. And nothing will change that. Terezi moved on, John rejected you, fuck, even that douchebag Dave rejected you, nor does Sollux seem interested in anything but a kismesis. You don't want hate. You want love. You're sick and tired of being left behind, even though you hold yourself as the so-called ''leader'' of this group. Seems like no one really cared in the first place. You huff, stinging tears slowly dripping down your face. They're red-tinted, proof of your blood; you wonder how everyone will take it when they see your eyes turn pure crimson in only one or two more sweeps. You'll probably be exiled, put somewhere far away where no one has to look at you again. Maybe it's better that way. Maybe that way you don't have to feel like this; lonely, rejected, hurt.

Because there will be no one to hurt you.

''Karkat...'' Gamzee mutters, stumbling into the room. He's not wearing his usual attire, which you're secretly grateful for. That bullshit looked like a cult of crack hobos shit it out of their filthy protein chutes and tried to pass it off as real clothing.

Gamzee walks over to you, a surprisingly concerned expression on his face. Why are you surprised? Oh, right, he was gone for literally _months_ and didn't tell you. He's a double agent. He murdered some of your ''friends''. He also is kismesis's with Terezi. Abso-fucking-lutely fantastic matesprit you have here. Sometimes you doubt whether you can consider him to be your matesprit. Or if he even cares anymore.

''What's motherfucking wrong?'' He reaches out to you gently; you swat the hand away moodily.

''Gamzee, I've been meaning to talk to you for a while.'' You sniffle, wiping away the tears. ''You're never here. You leave me for months, when I need you the most. You're Terezi's kismesis... and you know... you know what happened between me and her. Sometimes I feel so lonely and angry, but no one wants to listen to me anymore. Not even Kanaya, and that's saying something. And I look and look for you, yet you're never there when I need you the most. Sometimes... I wonder if you're still flushed for me...'' You stare at your feet, ignoring the fact that you're crying again. You look up unsteadily at the towering troll you've lusted after for sweeps, hoping that maybe you've broken past that facade of Faygo and sopor slime.

He blinks slowly. ''Karbro-'' you wince at the old nickname-''I can't motherfucking stop now. The mirthful messiahs are all up and calling me, and I have to do what I have to do. Me and Terezi already broke up. I talked to that motherfucker minutes ago.'' He grins, patting your head. ''I motherfucking suck at being a matesprit. I still am flushed for you, you cute little motherfucker.'' He kisses your cheek, bringing you into a soft embrace. You return the gesture, feeling his comforting warmth flood over you. You breathe in deeply, smiling a little. If only he could do this more often, then things wouldn't have come to this. If only.

You fall asleep in his room, cuddling with him in the horn pile. He takes a swig of Faygo, turning to face you with his pleasant grin of his. No matter what Kanaya says about him being dangerous, you've always ignored her, because of times like this. When he truly is your matesprit.

* * *

You move silently, doing your best not to wake your best bro. You try not to think too hard about the whole ordeal; you like to just go with the flow. But you don't want to hurt him. Yet day after day he wastes away without you, and you can't do anything about it. Exiting the vents, you give one last glance over your shoulder. You want to stay. You really do. But duty calls.

Surreptitiously darting in the shadows like you've done for sweeps, you deftly make it to the outside, greeted by the motherfucking miracles of the swirling cosmos. You're almost happy. Almost. Karbro will be motherfucking fine. You left him a note, telling him that he could visit you anytime in the usual dream bubble; a small room, where you stash most of your Faygo, sopor slime, and other belongings.

You breathe in deeply, not looking back.

_You're never here. _You leap into the depths of space, feeling the tempestuous energies guide you to your new master.

_Sometimes I feel so lonely and angry, but no one wants to listen to me anymore. _Swallowing any conflicting emotions, you take on a serene smile, shoveling a container of sopor slime down your hoarse throat.

_And I look and look for you, yet you're never there when I need you the most. _You can't see the meteor anymore; you can't see anything but blurs of shapes and shades, colliding together in a chaotic dance.

_Sometimes..._

You're there. Lord English stands before you, and you kneel before him, burying your pride and heart._  
I wonder if you're still flushed for me..._

Looking into his mesmerizing orbs, you immediately drink in every word your master says. Though one stray thought slips into your head; Karkat. Crying.

_Sorry, Karbro. _

* * *

**Ultimate sadstuck I've ever written. Good thing I was listening to depressing music, or else this would have turned out crappy. But now I'm sort of depressed. And I still have a lot of more feelsy stuff to write! =TTATT= This is for those lovely peoples who requested some Gamkat! (Sorry I jilted it and made into a terrible sad thing to read) This is one of mah favorite OTP's too, so it's kinda feelsy for me,too. *kawaii tear*  
**

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	13. JadexFeferi

Walking along the beach shore, you take a deep breath, inhaling the rich, salty ocean smell. You've always adored the scent the beach gave off, surrounding your small island in its sweet embrace. The sea had always fascinated you to no end. With no other people nearby, the soothing sight and sound of the ocean has become your new family. Grandpa always likes to hole himself up in his room anyways. Walking towards the waves lapping softly at the shifting sand, you shiver slightly at the chilling sensation licking at your feet as you gaze serenely at the murky water.

A slight shimmer in the distance catches your eye. You know you're not supposed to go in too deep into the water, thanks to the vicious wildlife inhabiting the area you reside in. But in the end curiosity claims victory, so you cautiously dip a foot into the foaming liquid, shivering at the frigid cold seeping into your bones; soon you're knee-deep in water, barely able to stop shaking. Whatever this is, you hope it's worth getting frozen over for. Searching for the shimmer once again, you find it and quickly snatch it up.

''How pretty...'' You mumble. It was a jar. A simple glass jar, small enough to fit in your hand, yet it held the most breath-taking sea creature you've ever seen. Its scales sparkled in the sunshine; bright fuchsia dominated as the base color, flecks of purple and gold sprouting along the rippling scales. It resembled a beta fish, flowing, full fins swishing underwater. Aren't they supposed to be fresh water fish? The creature swam idly at first, suddenly halting in one place and directing its attention towards you, staring at you intensely... almost as if it wanted to tell you something. Speechless, you jog all the way back to your house to tell all of your friends about this. They would flip head over heels!

* * *

This is what went down as you typed enthusiastically at the computer.

gardenGnostic [GG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB]:

GG: hey john!

GG: guess what i found! :D

EB: is it another weird animal your dog dragged to your doorstep

EB: because the last time you sent me a picture of one of those i had nightmares for months

GG: no silly! plus it wasnt its fault that bec felt like playfully nipping it a few times

EB: ''nipping''

GG: argh whatever look heres a picture of it!

(I have no meowing idea how the sendy thingy looks like so don't flame me for this, plus the stupid thing kept erasing it no matter how many times I tried)

gardenGnostic [GG] sent ectoBiologist [EB]:

EB: ...wow

GG: i know right?! :P

EB: that thing looks awesome

EB: whats weird though is i have a fish that looks just like that. except different colors.

GG: what really?

EB: yeah, where did you find yours?

GG: on the beach when i was taking a walk outside

GG: it sort of just shined underwater so i went in to get it :)

EB: thats a real coincidence

EB: the same thing happened to me

EB: except at the toilet

GG: ewwwwwww what :C

EB: hehe, i know but i couldnt just leave the jar in there could i? :B

GG: ooooookayyy *subject change* maybe theyre magical fish?

GG: that would be so cooooool! :D

EB: yeah but i think theyre just any other normal fish. i bet i wont be able to keep mine alive for more than two days straight though...

GG: ugh come john, thats a really pretty fish there and im sure it wont be that hard

EB: trust me, it is.

GG: fine, but seriously try to keep it alive! i got to go now, bec needs to be fed

GG: bye! *cute hearts and stuff since apparently the typer thingy hates arrows*

gardenGnostic [GG] stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

Okay, maybe he didn't flip head over heels. Though it's not like he could recognize such awesomeness in animals like you do.

Swerving around in your chair, you take out your mini refrigerator from your captchalogue, removing the steaming hot, glowing steak. You also take out a container of blood worms, nice and frozen. Good thing you always have a nice supply of food for the numerous amount of animals wandering around on this island. You wonder where Becquerel is. Hopefully he doesn't feel like playing hide-and-seek, because that would be very exhausting. The said dog suddenly materializes in front of you in a puff of neon green. You fall out of your chair with a small squeak.

''Oh my! Don't scare me like that, you silly doggy!'' You giggle, tossing the steak to him. He snaps it up, wolfing it down in one bite; you smile, holding the cool jar in your lap. Becquerel's beady eyes widen, and he shifts into an aggressive stance, raising his hackles and bearing his teeth. You're startled; he would never growl like this at you. But then you see where he's glaring at. The jar. Sighing, you put on your soft smile and speak in a soothing manner.

''Bec, it's okay. It's just a fish. See?'' You hold up the jar. He growls even more fiercely, snapping his jaws. He barks once more, and disappears in a flash. He's never behaved this aggressively before; at least it's better than having to witness tear apart the fish. It swims up to the surface, blowing bubbles at you. Such a cutie.

Setting down the jar on the night stand next to your bed, you sprinkle some fish food into the jar. It's a good thing you always are prepared to take in many kinds of critters. That's the best part about living on an isolated island. So many kinds of living organisms, it's a miracle you haven't met a mermaid or something by now!

* * *

You take those words back. And shove them into the mouth of giant bullfairy while shouting for joy.

Because there is a tiny mermaid peering right back at you. She blinks slowly once; smiling, she raises a webbed hand and waves to you happily. You smile, nervously waving a hand back. She may not exactly be a mermaid, but it's still quite amazing. You hadn't expected such a transformation in such a short period of time.

Only a few hours after you took in the fish, it began to behave in a way you never thought was possible for fish. It began to recognize you when you came into your bedroom- where you housed the it- swimming excitedly around in circles when you came by to look or feed it. Bec's shadow could almost always be found nearby your bedroom, and you were almost always guarding the jar with your life; you weren't about to let him cull such an extraordinary specimen. The dazzling fish then began to spin a bubble nest around the top of its container, which was very normal for any beta fish to do. Though when it began to sleep in the thick net of bubbles, almost making you have a heart attack when you first thought it was dead, that is when you began to fantasize. What if this was actually a mermaid turned into a lowly fish? Soon you dismissed the notion. Thinking like that is incredibly silly!

Time soon proved you wrong. Now you're walking around with a small little fish girl on your shoulder, who loves to climb into your hair. Her skittering feet tickle your scalp, and you laugh quietly as she tangles herself in your long dark brown hair. Even though she has a fully functional mouth to speak with, the only sounds she could produce were bird-like chirping and incoherent mumbling. Whenever you take her to the beach, you always dig a small pond for her to play in; you aren't about to let her play in the dangerous sea yet, no matter how many puppy eyes she gives you. Her milky white eyes gave her a spooky appearance, so they weren't very effective when it came to begging.

When you settled in for bed, a full week after she had transformed, you spared one last glance towards the jar. Soft blue light shone on the glass surface, washing upon the girl (whom you've named Bubbles by now); her iridescent scales lulling you into a deep sleep. Your heavy eyelids closed, and you drifted away into the spectacle of mysterious dreams you have dwelling in your bright mind.

_Underwater, the air escaped from your lungs in large bubbles, and for a few moments you held your breath until you found out you could breathe. Slowly adjusting to your surroundings, you look up into the blinding rays of light from above. Blue swirls around you, surrounding the slim figure floating in front of you._

_Her face and exact body details were not visible due to the brilliant sunlight, though you could make out shining fuchsia eyes. They were trained on you, never blinking. _

_''Come and find me! Heehee!'' Childish laughter rung out in the sea, the light calm blue slowly fading into black.  
_

''Ahh!'' You spring from your bed, completely tripping over your feet. ''Ow! Oh gosh, what the heck was all that about...?'' Supporting yourself on your elbows, you're slightly surprised by a damp sensation leaking into your yellow pajamas. ''What?'' Your eyes trail a path of damp spots on your carpet floor, leading up to the cracked jar standing on top of your nightstand; oh no. Oh no no no no no!

_Did Becquerel eat him?!_ You gasp, whooshing onto your feet and dashing over to the teleporter installed in your room. That dog better not have touched him, or someone's going without dinner tonight!

''Bec! Bec, where are you?'' You shouted, hoping he would answer your calls. It was useless. He would only appear when he wanted to appear, period.

In the corner of your eye, you saw sly silhouette dash into another room nearby; you followed it, hoping it would be your naughty dog. Puddles of water created a clear path, so you kept on running, taking out your hunter rifle from your captchalogue; this definitely wasn't Becquerel. Coming up to a closed door, which led to the outside, you opened it cautiously and followed the conspicuous trail of water.

The dark, damp earth led you to the beach. When you arrived there, you saw nothing. The trail ended at the shoreline, right where the waves lapped peacefully against the soft sand. Sighing, you crumpled to your knees; you've never felt this hopeless. Or tired. Usually you would spend this time sleeping!

''Guess who it is!''

A bubbly voice rings from behind you; your vision is obscured by two hands that reek of salt water. ''W-Who are you?'' You shouted, trying to pry the hands off of your face; they were too strong. A soft sigh sounded from behind.

''Jade, I've been here for a full week, day and night! Come on, silly!'' You pouted; this girl, whoever she was, is definitely a stranger. Fortunately, the strong grasp was released. You sighed in relief, then whirled around with your gun poised and ready.

''Calm down! It's me, Bubbles!'' Fuchsia eyes. That's the first thing you see. You hesitantly relax your grip on your rifle. A toothy smile greets you, scales lightly scattered on the outer perimeters of the girl's sleek, gray face; fish scales were scattered all over the top of her skin, her legs, and her arms. Gills flared slightly, and flowing fins located where the ears should have been were the exact colors your little beta fish was adorned with. In fact, fuchsia filled the whole of the girl's eyes, also sparkling here and there among the scales embellishing the arms and legs, with sparkling gold, hints of purple, and a variety of dark pink shades littered the girl's gray skin.

She was... beautiful.

''You're Bubbles...?'' You whisper, gaping at the girl- no, Bubbles, apparently. She nods, clapping happily and swishing her back fins. At first glance, they seem like clothing attachments, but they were really transparent fins, flowing from her hips all the way to her ankles. You wonder how the heck this girl swims with those things. Your thoughts are interrupted when a webbed hand grabs yours, dragging you into the water.

''Let's go swimming! Being cooped up in that little thing really gave me bad cramps. Oh, and-'' She turns around to face you with a pearly white grin- ''do you have any spare goggles around?''

* * *

Three days later, you're pretty confident about this. What's not great about finding out your pet fish is royalty from underwater?!

Sitting in a metal tub full of seawater, Feferi - she told you her real name after she dragged you in for a swim- sloshes the water around, chirping happily as you tend to your growing gardens. Her new black fuchsia goggles help her see above water, which is kind of weird once you think about it. When she first reverted to her true form, to be honest, you weren't all that excited. You had some second thoughts. Maybe Becquerel was right. He usually was right, really. This mutant could mean big trouble. Though she soon grew on you; her bubbly personality was so much like yours, you couldn't help but consider her the sister you never had. Warm nights were spent cuddling, reminding you of how lonely you were before she came.

''When are we going swimming again?'' Feferi calmly mutters while sniffing at one of your pumpkins. She sure adores swimming, but for some reason never went without you. She always sticks around you, inspecting the stuff in your house, playing with you, talking to you. It can be a little demanding, really. Plus the fact the whole house is starting to smell like fish.

''Mmmm... maybe sometime later this evening. But I'm feeling kind of tired, so I dunno...'' You tap your chin with your index finger, staring at the ceiling. Nowadays you don't get as much as sleep as you used to, and it's kind of starting to wear you out. Having a royal fish princess as family sure is tiring! Since Feferi is attached to your hip night and day, it makes it much easier to keep a close eye on her; Becquerel might still not like her as much as you do.

''Okay, we can go now! Let me just change.'' You smile at Feferi who leaps out of her bath tub and dashes to the transporter, disappearing into your room. You follow her, making sure to throw off your dirty gardening gloves onto a nearby table.

When you enter your room, Feferi is laying on your bed; her alluring fuchsia eyes follow your every move, watching you shed your clothes. This doesn't bother you though. You're both girls, right? Feferi considers you to be her own sister. And you do,too. You definitely haven't wondered what kind of curves wait underneath the black tank-top and white swimming shorts she's always wearing. Or how soft her lips are. Definitely not. Your eyes wander over to Feferi, gliding over her scaled smooth skin, leveling up to her eyes. You could never figure out what the girl was thinking; she always kept a happy poker face, evading questions about her elusive past.

''Whale are we going to swim or what? Let's get swimming, Jadey!'' Suddenly her grinning face is only inches away from yours; you feel oddly flushed. Feferi giggles, grabbing your wrist. You tug on the strap of your bikini top, hoping that the small top doesn't get washed away by the high tide. Even if you tend to stick to the shallows, the waves can still be dangerously rough. Feferi stays with you, but you feel kinda guilty keeping her from the ''fun'' parts.

Outside, the day is cloudy, a slight cool breeze forms goosebumps on your tan skin. You smile though; Feferi's excitement is brushing off of you, and you don't mind spending more time with this fishy girl who swam her way into your life.

''The water's tobubbly great!'' Feferi chirps, her gills flaring with her anticipation. You giggle, dipping your foot into the water; it is perfect. Waist-deep in, Feferi turns her head to you, silently swimming circles around you.

''Let's go diving!'' She says, popping up from the water and sending droplets cascading onto your face.

''Don't worry, I'll protect you. Nothing will cull you while I'm here, Jadey...'' Feferi nuzzles your neck. Her hand touches yours, and you nod, blushing. Your heart races when you think about the ferocious sea life, but slows down when you think of how strong Feferi is. She never fails to make you feel so frightened yet so protected at the same time.

The water rises over your head, surrounding your body in its chilling embrace; you see and feel the air bubbles escaping your lungs. A scaly hand keeps its grip on you, and you squeeze it back, never wanting to let go. Once you're fully submerged underwater, Feferi whispers in your ear,'' Welcome to my home.'' Her grin shines underwater, and you look down upon the great reef growing peacefully underwater. Pink, green, blue, orange, and almost every color of the rainbow grows in dashes and streaks, a grey and fuchsia shimmer flitting through the crevices. You gaze at the wonderful sight. Then it hits you that you're out of air. Your vision becomes blurry and you can feel your lungs tightening; something soft presses against your lips, cold air whooshing into your mouth.

''Mmf!'' You open your eyes, seeing Feferi's face pressed against yours. Her hands tangle in your hair, and you nervously hug her, not knowing what to do in this type of situation. Soon she ends the kiss, blowing excited bubbles in your face.

''Don't worry! I can give you air whenever you want, gill frond!'' You blush; did she just call you her girl friend?

''Gill... frond...?'' You mumble. Somehow Feferi understands your incoherent speech bubbles, and nods, wrapping her glittering arms around you tenderly.

''I've been courting you for days, Jadey!'' She giggles, releasing more bubbles. ''You took care of me while I was trapped in that little jar, and made sure that scary dog didn't hurt me! That's more than what anyone's really done for me. You're a good person, Jadey, and I know you'll be a the greatest gill frond in all of the seven seas.'' You smile, hugging her back. Maybe Becquerel was wrong.

This was the best decision you've ever made.

* * *

**I've been hit by a shipload of yuri feels! Especially cute ones with Jade and all of the other adorable gals in them! Hehe! :33 This extra long chapter took so long to make because I was busy being lazy, as usual. *falls asleep and takes a nap***

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	14. Sollux x Mituna

Warm sunshine spills through your bedroom window, lighting the cluttered mess gathered in the small room, spilling its comforting rays upon your sun-depraved face. Birds chirp peacefully outside; a sign that spring is here and it's the perfect day to go enjoy the great outdoors.

Fuck that. You gather yourself and fucking shut the damned blinds closed. Who's retarded idea was it to open the blinds in the first place? Oh wait, it was your older brother's. Not like you can consider him to be older than you, since he acts like a blubbering idiot most of the time.

Mituna's dark brown bush of hair falls over his eyes, his slender frame covered by some weird black and yellow outfit he never takes off. He's a head shorter than you, yet he acts like he's the boss of the house; similar to you, he tends to be very bipolar, and since his accident, he hasn't been very easy to deal with. Like right now.

''Thollux, give me the controllerer you ass!'' He practically screeches, wrenching the controller violently from your hands. If he hadn't just come back from college for spend the weekend at home, you would have decked his face by now.

''I'm being firtht player dick fathe. Itth not like you can ever beat me anyway.'' More like you can't ever beat him. He knocks you out on almost every single game you own, except for Tetris. The guy doesn't have the self-control for it. You snatch the controller from him, elbowing him for good measure. He cusses, tripping over his chicken legs and tumbling to the floor dramatically. ''Itth my Playthtation anywayth.''

''Yeah well I'M OLDER THAN YOU!'' Mituna sputters, rolling around the floor because for some reason getting up is too easy. He pauses for a moment; a sly grin comes on his face, and you know he has another one of his ''brilliant'' ideas that will most likely screw you over. You've went through too many rounds of rock-paper-scissors, chubby bunnies, truth or dare, and a whole bunch of other shit to let your guard down.

''Mituna what ith up with that retarded ath grin your fathe. Theriouthly I am not going to play any of your pthychotic mmmf!'' Your grumbling is silenced when Mituna smashes his mouth against yours; the rough kiss is more teeth than lips, but soon you feel your brother's probing tongue enter your mouth, sucking on yours noisily. You groan, feeling his hands boldly dive into your pants, fingering you in intimate places. What the hell is happening?

''Ahh...! Mm, Mituna, thtop it... fucking...!'' You push him off of you, blushing furiously. He toys with you like this every time he comes over, leaving you with an unspoken desire for more, one that has been silently driving you up the walls. He probably knows this, yet still does it just for shits and giggles. And right now you don't want to deal with his bullshit.

''Hehe, you know you like it Sollux. And gueth what I've got! HEEHEEHEE!'' Mituna cackles, swinging the controller wildly over his head. That is the last straw. There is no way you're going to let him win this time.

''You thitbag!'' You scowl, attempting to wrestle the controller from his grubby hands before he decides to toss it out the window. ''Don't fucking play with it like that!'' Mituna grins sinisterly, ducking under your lousy punch. Unfortunately for him, he came too close, giving you the opportunity to grab the collar of his shirt, pressing a sloppy smooch to his lips. He moans, mumbling a string of very incestuous things under his breath as you rub the palm of your hand against his length. He relaxes, melting into your touch with another long moan; victory is near. As the hand holding the controller relaxes its grip, allowing the object to fall to the floor, you grab it deftly, placing Mituna into your lap. ''Don't ever do that again.'' You glare at your older brother. He only smiles, tangling his hands in your spiked hair.

''Make me bitch...'' He pants out.

In one fluid movement, both of you are on your bed, your hands pinning Mituna down by his wrists; you're grinding your hips against his hungrily, locking lips with him as if it's the fucking end of the world. He groans, wrapping his legs around you. His hard-on sends delicious chills down your back, and you can feel yourself get lost in endless lust. You don't know how long you've waited for an excuse to get into his pants to pop up, and you're not going to wait any longer. Unzipping his pants hastily, you duck down, unsheathing the throbbing length from his bee-themed underwear. You lick the tip experimentally; Mituna bucks his hips, digging his nails into the sheets with a soft moan. You grin, sliding your tongue across him, taking him into your mouth and lavishing the hard erection with your tongue. You bob your head, slipping a finger into his tight entrance. Two more enter, scissoring him and stretching the muscles; by the sexy noises coming out of his mouth, you say he's more than ready.

''Fuck, put it in me already...!'' Mituna pants, clenching the bed sheets for dear life when you suck on his cock noisily one last time. He moans, opening his legs to let you slide in with ease. You grin smugly. Who's on top now?

You ram into him, searching for his prostate; your brother screams, arching his back after a heavy thrust. Smirking, you slam into the sweet spot repeatedly, turning your brother into a muttering mess. You lean towards him, sucking on his bottom lip, placing light kisses along his jawline as you ravage his body. ''You fucking thlut, bet you've been wanting thith every time you come over. You jutht want me to split you apart, huh?'' You growl huskily into his ear, watching him grin and nod enthusiastically.

''Ehehe, I-Ah holy fuck! Mmm, want you to fucking ahh jegus that's tho good...! Fuck me until I can't stand!'' His beautiful jade eyes tear up, those orbs of his only ever revealed to you in all their glory. Mituna rakes his nails against your back, coming shakily over his chest, shouting your name. That's what finally drives you over the edge; you arch your back, spilling your seed into his backside, and just collapse onto his heaving chest.

''Thith... better teach you a lethon... not to meth with me you fuck...'' You mutter half-heartedly, burying your head into Mituna's neck. He giggles, wrapping his arms around you.

You're pretty sure he's going to do this again real soon. And you don't mind at all.

* * *

**This lovely little one-shot is dedicated to Mosspath! I LOVE CAPTORCEST SO WOOP WOOP! *throws cup into air in sheer joy because I finally updated in less than a week* It's a bit short, but I thought that the scenario called for it. That, and I really am in the mood to draw some robots and furries. (OMINOUS FORESHADOWING) ;33**

**THANKS FOR READING! AND ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS! **


	15. Vriska x Nepeta

Dark green text drifts across a white miniature text box; a short girl with unruly black hair under a navy blue cap lays across a pile of anime furs, eagerly waiting for a certain teal-colored user to reply.

''I wonder when she'll efur reply back... that little tutoring session is going on longer than she said it was...'' She sighed, about to exit the chat client when a sudden beep startled her. She picked up the tablet from where she had thrown it (with a silent face palm), checking who had signaled for her, and after a few moments of hesitation she reluctantly answered.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] :

AG: heyyyyyy cat girl are you there

AG: up for some awesome roleplaying?

AC: :\\ as long as there isnt anything bad in it

AG: alright got that ;;;;;;;;)

AC: :33 *the sneaky lioness comes up to the great spider from behind and tackle pounces her, swishing her tail cheerfully

AG: *the gr8 spider lifts up the lioness and spins silk to swing them across the sky

AG: *she invites her to a hunt where unfathomable amounts of prey lay, landing softly in the forest and placing the lioness on the ground

AC: :33 *the lioness accepts, following the great spider for this hunt

AG: *soon a giant dragon arrives, flapping its wide wings and daring them to fight. the gr8 spider winks all of its 8eautiful 8 eyes at the lioness, inviting her to the fight and slashing at the 8east with her legs

AC: :33 *the lioness swipes her paws at the dragon and slicing through its scaly armor, effectively defeating it alongside her companion

AG: *the gr8 spider walks up to the carcass and sees theres a mysteriiiiiiiious object stuck in it

AG: *she picks it up and hands it to the lioness. its an invitation to the awesome and powerful vriskas house, tomorrow during the afternoon

AC: :OO what the meow? are you inviting me to your house, vriskers?

AG: duh, yeahhhhhhhh! youre so boring these days and alwayyyyyyyys complaining about how terezi and everyone else is being boring adults while youre cooped up in that boring cave of yours, so i thought it would be a nice change if you were to hang out with the most fun person here!

AC: :II i guess.

AG: gr8! see you there, nepetaaaaaaaa! ;;;;;;;;)

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

Sighing heavily, Nepeta gratefully exits the chat client, lifting herself off of the makeshift bed. She wanders over to her shipping chart, staring solemnly at her complex pairings painted across the shadowed cave wall. Sweeping her gaze over one and another, she recounts the endless times she and her friends had role played, ran through the forests during the long dark nights searching for prey, the countless ups and downs in their short time together, forming and destroying countless ships; she shook her head furiously. It may be only a few short months before every one of them is shipped off to intergalactic space to conquer alien worlds in their race's glory, but she was determined to make that time count. Even if almost every person is cooped up in their own little worlds, she didn't want to spend their last days like this!

Walking over to her lusus, she stroked her soft snow white fur, smiling. ''How about we go on a little hunt ourselves, huh?''

* * *

Meanwhile, a spidery girl traced the edges of her milky white cue ball, as if it were made of diamonds. Of course it is natural to treat an object in such a fashion after it grants you omniscient powers.

''Is Nepeta flushed for me?'' She whispered, holding the cool sphere in her hands and leaning in eagerly. No matter how many times she went through this routine, she couldn't accept the same answer it shoveled out to her.

When the blue triangle floated up to the surface, it answered her fruitless question tersely.

_No. _

_That will change soon enough..._ Vriskers thought. She looked up at the narrator and hissed, ''My name is Vriska! Not Vriskers dammit!''

Okay, _Vriska_.

Anyways, Vriska paced around the room, constantly questioning the cue ball to pass the time. When she finally got bored of that mundane activity, she tossed the ball onto the floor carelessly and plopped herself onto her computer chair, spinning around slowly. She closed her eyes, attempting to utilize the formidable omnipotent abilities she had gained after finally beating the white text guy with his own tools. Smirking, she fumbled through the past, the future, and eventually towards the stretching branches of alternate universes, where she saw an alternate time line version of herself; white-eyed and wandering through the desert sands with another girl who had the same horns as her, along with someone who also had the same exact horns as Feferi. Really, they could be related or something. After staring at the small spectacle for a few minutes, she kept on wandering in her subconscious form, going through the various events that have come to pass in the endless alternate time lines. Where she died gruesome deaths, where she snatched glory from the jaws of death itself, and where she found unexpected love, but she didn't stop until she came to one scene in particular. Smiling softly, she approached the bubble and entered it; of the countless glorified scenes she had witnessed, this one has become her favorite so far.

''Heh, don't be such a meany!'' Nepeta giggled, brushing cobwebs off of her curls. An older version of Vriska laughed, holding the older Nepeta's hands lovingly. They walked through a dark cave, the older Vriska holding a wooden chest. Both of them wore FLARP clothing, Vriska's usual outfit traced in dark green while Nepeta wore her won pirate themed costume lined in navy blue. Interesting.

''Says the one who kicked out all of those newbs back there.'' Older Vriska teased. They neared the entrance of the cave, the dim shadows turning into complete darkness; a mist enveloped the vision, leaving the sub-conscious girl alone. She nodded to herself confidently, marching out of the bubble and returning to her sleeping body a few moments after.

No matter what, she was going to make that vision come true.

* * *

Shadows danced across the forest, the canopy of the trees blotting out any sparse sunlight. Nepeta surreptitiously crept through the land, carefully avoiding any unnecessary strifes with any wandering beasts. No need to waste any energy; she had a feeling she would dearly need it for her upcoming visit.

Over the past few months, when the world really started to whirl into a slow pace of unbearable boringness, was when Vriska began to pester her constantly. She kept on being a meddley meddling meddler. Seriously, what's her deal? The cat girl shrugged, hoping to pacify this spidery troll after this one visit; maybe she was just as bored as she was. Or she has ulterior motives. Nepeta came to the conclusion it's the latter.

Once she arrives at the front doorstep to the colossal mansion (dang how much space does a single girl need?!), she knocks on the door. The noise echoes throughout the hive, and soon the soft thuds of someone traveling down the near endless stream of stairs can be heard. After a few minutes of waiting, the host finally makes it to the bottom. ''Hey there cat girl. Come on in.'' Vriska says, smiling widely and swinging open the door.

''So what are we going to do, Vriskers?'' Nepeta half hisses her name, slowly walking up the stairs. She can already feel the regret burning in her legs.

Vriska laughs and says almost evilly,''We're going to do some extreeeeeeeeme role playing.''

_Does she mean the same kind of roleplaying she and Terezi did? I thought they stopped doing that ages ago. _Nepeta frowns; she's heard of FLARP, and even though she adores role playing, something of that caliber is kind of intimidating. Vriska sees her worried expression and places a comforting hand on her shoulder. ''Heh, don't worry. You have one of the highest rank FLARPERs out there in your team!'' She flashes her a toothy smirk, which only makes Nepeta's frown deepen.

''But I've never even purrlayed FLARP. How the meow should I know what I'm doing?'' Nepeta said, flexing her hands; it's a good thing she brought along her claws. She was a talented huntress, but in this game she knew there would be shady people out there who could completely annihilate her with a few well-crafted words.

''I've seen you hunt down those huge monsters out there. Trust me, I wouldn't invite you in the first place if I didn't think you could handle it.'' The spider girl says, attempting to wrap her arm around the shorter girl; unfurrrtunately, the shorter girl just shrugs off the sneaky limb.

This is going to be one hell of a roleplay.

* * *

''Team Charge is challenging us to a match.''

Vriska spits out the name like bile; Nepeta gives her an extremely confused expression while equipping her blades.

''I thought Aradia and Tafurros didn't play FLARP anymore.''

Captchaloguing her dice, maps, and other tools, Vriska angrily,'' They're a duo of douchebaggery asshole actors who think they're worthy of actually defeating me. I've been stuck in eeeeeeeendless battles with them because they can't seem to leave me and my awesomeness alone I guess. Whatever you do, don't talk to them. They think they're the fucking queens of Alternia or something.''

''So shouldn't we just ignore it?''

''Mindfang never refuses a challenge, kitty cat.'' Vriska purrs, following the bats downstairs. Nepeta pouts; she tails her, casting a worried glance behind her. If these people are rude enough to pet Vriska's fur the wrong way, then she definitely wasn't going to stand there and let them soil the reputation of her friends' team.

After doing some intense programming, Nepeta had figured out how to make a decent campaign. Now she wasn't sure it was hard enough, because she could see the outline of two trolls watching in the distance, the amber of their eyes almost glowing. Though she wasn't sure who they were because of their unfamiliar scents, she was confident they were the mysterious new Team Charge members. Perhaps she should have made them defeat a few colossal imps instead of the standard two-foot ones?

Looking up curiously, she saw her stat bars, and tried to swat them with one of her paws experimentally. The sharp blades cut through the bars like mist, and like mist, the bars were unharmed. ''Furrascinating...''

''Hey Disciple, get your ass out here and step up your game! We have a team of ogres heading towards us!'' Vriska shouted gleefully, tossing her dice into the air dramatically. Nepeta nodded, scampering over and preparing to strike the nearest carapaced fiend. Out of the corner of her mind, she saw the silhouettes run into the distance, their distant jeering ringing in her sharp ears. She pawsed (I mean paused) and Vriska shot her a confused glance, striking down the last ogre with a well aimed strike.

''What the heck are you looking at?'' She asked.

''I think we have to follow those guys. My instincts tell me that this campurraign isn't the usual kind you play.''

''What are you spider man or something?''

''Who's that?''

''I don't know.''

And so, Vriska shrugged nonchalantly. Though she followed the bounding girl with confidence, she was fretting over whether she was actually doing the right thing to make that vision come true. She knew it could be fulfilled through role play, but so far it seems like the usual medley of ambiguous shit tricks and scuttling assholes. Suddenly two slim shadows approach them, one with curving, spiked horns extending around the sides of their head, another with short horns shaped like broken wands. _It's them. _

''They're carrying something!'' Nepeta called out, already several yards ahead of Vriska. Vriska huffed and pumped her legs, not wanting to become the weak link. Definitely not in front of her flush crush.

Adjusting her eight-fold vision custom shades, she saw what the shining object was. A simple white sphere, emitting a menacing and ominous aura. ''Shit!'' Vriska muttered under her breath, finally catching up to Nepeta; she took out her map, hastily finding their whereabouts. Currently they were heading for an expanse of pure desert, and the dark red grains of sand were already

''This is a fucking race... so cliche... but we have to get that white orb right there, or else there's going to be some naaaaaaaasty consequences.'' She said, grinning wildly.

''Then why are you so happy?'' Nepeta said breathlessly, taking a sharp right turn as the duo skidded off and began to separate.

''Because this is where the fun begins.''

* * *

Darkness enveloped the four trolls, their foot steps and ragged breaths bouncing off the cave walls. Team Charge was evenly lined with Team Scourge, both teams panting heavily and staring straight ahead. A bright light emanated from the end of the cave, signaling the end of their arduous foot race.

''Hah! We're gonna beat you quick and easy, just as usual!'' The troll with curved horns taunted, her bright eyes twinkling in the dim light. The other one held the orb to his chest, smirking.

Vriska smiled and said wickedly,''You don't know what you're competing against, kiddos.''

The rival female scowled and flipped her off angrily. ''We're not kids! You're only-'' Her shout was cut off as a bright green flash of light swept her off her feet, another shooting the white sphere out of her teammate's hands.

Green light surrounded Vriska, her eyes glowing a bright white. Nepeta shuffled to a stop, gawking at the spectacle. Flashing her a confident grin, Vriska retrieved the white sphere and tossed it to her; she caught it, beginning to feel her breath come back to her.

''Um... *pant*... Vriskers, what are... what the meow is happening?'' She said, wincing at the strange vibes coming from her teammate. Vriska only shook her head and said,''I would blast you to bits right here, but that wouldn't be very fair for you pupas.'' As quickly as it came, the green mist receded into darkness, leaving the rival team dazed.

Vriska laughed, dragging Nepeta along. ''Are you just going to stand aaaaaaaall day? We have to teach them a lesson to never mess with Team Scourge!''

Beginning to feel the adrenaline pump into her veins, Nepeta grinned and sprinted alongside Vriska, leaving their competitors in the dust.

* * *

A few hours later, the two sat in the heart of a network of caves, heading back to Vriska's hive. Carrying a bundle of riches they had dug up in the previous caves they had plundered, Nepeta grinned, skipping along.

''Heh, role playing with me wasn't that bad, now was it cat girl?'' Vriska said, holding the white sphere in her hands. She smirked, watching Nepeta pout and shift the weight in her arms.

''Okay, _maybe_ not. But that's only because I had to stop you from mind controlling dozens of innocent purreople.'' Nepeta remarked. Vriska laughed, rolling the white orb in her hands. She was actually pretty mellow in this session; there were no casualties ( which meant a very hungry and agitated lusus), there were no extreme injuries or maimed trolls, only a few scrapes and bruises from a few scuffles with programmed monsters.

''I think I did pretty well. Maybe sometime we can get together and do this again?'' Vriska winked, managing to spread a small frown on Nepeta's face.

''...Fine.'' _Why am I going along with this? _Nepeta shook her head, smiling when they finally made it to the outside world; she breathed in deeply, almost dumping the treasure to the floor in relief.

Looking at Nepeta's overjoyed face, Vriska was confident she was doing the right thing. I mean, who could resist the great spider's charm?

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Nepeta's visits had become more frequent since that interesting encounter. For some odd reason, being around her wasn't as annoying as it had been in the past. Her smirks became more and more flustering, the confidence pouring from her in every living moment becoming an object of admiration. When she thought about it too hard, she just shrugged and decided it was because she was only one who bothered to contact her these days besides Equius.

Pawing around in the bushes, she sniffed for some reasonable prey. A stray hoof beast trotted by, and she hid in the underbrush, ready to strike; then lightning struck down. At first, only a few raindrops splattered onto the ground; soon it became a hailstorm of heavy rain, drenching the young troll in frigid water. She hissed, running blindly to whatever shelter lay ahead. When it rains in Alternia, you can expect a chorus of thunder accompanied by lightning in a shocking down pour of heavy rain, sometimes lasting for hours.

''I can't see anything...!'' Nepeta muttered, sniffing the air in vain. She hissed, thundering forward into the darkness, rain droplets clouding her vision and echoing booms ringing in her ears.

_THUD. _Lights popped in her vision when she rammed head-first into a solid wall. Looking up shakily, Nepeta saw it was Vriska's house, and she scurried over to the entrance eagerly, knowing the spider girl will greet her with open arms. She always had, and she knew it wouldn't be different this day. Knocking on the door loudly, the faint thuds of someone heading down echoed, and Nepeta grinned when the door swung open to reveal the raven-haired girl.

''Looks like someone got stuck in the rain.'' Vriska said smirking. Nepeta punched her on the arm playfully, mumbling a curt hello. ''Jeez, just make yourself at home why don't ya?''

''Sorry Vriskers, but it's purrouring outside so I didn't want to spend another minute out there.'' Nepeta said, shaking herself off. Vriska grumbled, tripping over a few dice strewn on the floor. Giggling, Nepeta stretched a hand out to her. ''You really need to clean up.''

''Yeah, well it's all bad luck anyways. Say...'' Vriska smirked, grabbing Nepeta's hand and dusting herself off. ''To pass the time, we should have a little strife ourselves.''

''Are you suggesting the great spurrrrrrrrider wants to battle against the lioness?'' Nepeta purred, a bold glint in her eyes.

''Why not?'' Vriska said, already taking out a pair of boxing gloves and slipping them over her hands. ''Hand to hand only, little kiiiiiiiitten.''

In one swift movement Nepeta smiled and landed a good punch square on her face. Vriska smirked, returning the move with a few deft strikes at her chest; Nepeta swerved to the right, moving towards the right and ducking to hit her right on the jaw.

''Augh! You're pretty good at this, I'll give you that...!'' Vriska hissed, spitting out dark blue blood. Nepeta retreated a few feet back, waiting for Vriska to make her move in silence. With a silent scream of fury, Vriska charged at her, managing to successfully strike at her collar bone, temporarily dazing her. While she stumbled to balance herself, Vriska snatched the opportunity up and struck at her stomach, almost sending her to her feet. Smirking, she hopped on one foot to another, catching her breath steadily.

''Is that all the greeeeeeeeat lioness has to offer?'' She cooed. Nepeta shook her head, suddenly leaping into the air and swiping her fists at the girl's abdomen, winding her. As she gasped for breath, Nepeta struck one more time, hitting her square on the jaw. Stars swirled around in the spider girl's vision, and she collapsed. ''Ugh... okay,*pant*... that was an awesome strife...''

''Hehe, it was pawsitively fun...!'' Nepeta said, laying down next to her and crossing her arms against her chest. ''It's still raining out there though.''

''I have some movies somewhere in this shit hole...'' Vriska mumbled, looking over at Nepeta. ''How did I do, oh great huntress?''

''Maybe in a few sweeps you can defeat me.'' Nepeta replied teasingly.

''Was it good enough to be your matesprit, cat girl?''

''Maybe...'' Nepeta said, leaning over and kissing Vriska softly, laying against her in an exhausted heap as the rain continued on, pattering against the hive's walls in a steady beat.

* * *

**I have no idea what I made. I'm cereal here you guys. And sorry for the awful wait; there were wayyyyyyyy too many good pairs out there and it took me a while longer than I thought it would take to finally decide on one. Jeebus. Thanks to those who are still following and didn't decide to jump out the window while I was gone!**

**THANKS FOR READING! ;;;;;;;33**


	16. Rose x Kanaya

Since that fateful departure, you have been wondering if there really was such a thing as fate.

As you had lifted off from the launching pad, gazing straight ahead with wide eyes, you held your breath in anticipation of the voyage that lay before you. You had been drafted for the first voyage beyond the solar system, charted towards a mysterious planet dubbed ''Earth 2.0''. You nor the crew have an exact idea of what the planet's environment will be like, besides the fact it will contain merciless life and has livable conditions for humans. But you do have an ominous feeling that the crew will not be prepared for the sentient life on the planet; during your time as a worker in one of the most prestigious space centers in the world since the international unification of countries, you have uncovered undebatable evidence of sentient life inhabiting this planet. What they look like up close, think like, or anything truly useful was beyond the probes jetted to this planet.

They were all destroyed once they arrived.

After the first few mishaps, everyone agreed it would be safest to keep the probes safely hidden in the cosmos. But even then, they had the habit of disappearing quite frequently. You try to ease the worries in your mind as weightlessness takes over. Dave gives you thumbs up from the right, and you sigh from the inside of your dark helmet. Now to pass the time.

* * *

A few days later, after many hours of playing card games while floating, trying to drink apple juice without a cup, and mainly jumping from wall to wall, you're pumped and ready to go. Jade grins at you, hugging a white, plush dog toy reminiscent of her Becquerel. She says cheerfully,''Chin up, Rose! We're only about an hour away! I can't wait to see all the cool alien life there...'' She trails off. You laugh softly; she, like her twin brother John, have always been major fanatics of scientific escapades. Said person hops into the room, a goofy grin plastered on his tan face.

''Hey you guys! Look, there's the two moons! Man, I wish our moon looked like that.''

''I think it would be so ironic to have a pink moon circling the earth.'' Dave mutters. That boy and his irony, you swear.

You stay silent. It's a good thing you brought your twin neutralizers; as much as the others make fun of them for resembling a pair of knitting needles, they can mean the difference between life and death in your view. You brush the smooth surface of the black weapons, staring at the miniature buttons installed on the sides. Only you can utilize them; it scans your finger print, and if it does not match the owner's- which is you of course- it will not spew out a single laser. No pew pew.

The grey, dull surface of the planet looms over the ship. John straps himself in, and the rest of you follow suit. They slip on their full gear suits, bracing for landing. Butterflies fly in your stomach. Only one question rests in your mind at that moment; _Will we be destroyed like the probes?_

Out of the corner of your eye, a shadowed silhouette sails into the stars. _Is that a... space ship?_ Slowly taking off, you can assure yourself it is not an enemy. For now. Then you enter the planet's atmosphere, bright blue and yellow forming a hot shell around your space craft. That's when your heart nearly stops.

Whale.

A _flying_ whale. Even with the blood pounding in your ears, you can hear Dave cuss loudly, attempting to steer away from the bleached white swooping beast. Just as he veers off from the path of destruction by an inch, brilliant blue light completely tears through the left wing, shearing the top of the shaking ship. You gape at the hole. Time suddenly freezes; no one moves.

You can't die now.

Reaching for the controls, you shout out at Jade and John to assist you and Dave through the emergency protocols. Shooting towards the dark earth below, you catch a glimpse of the one most likely responsible for that shot; his purple cape billows in the air, gray skin and candy corn-like horns protruding from a mass of black hair, and apparently he's riding a... white flying seahorse? You make a quick mental note to look out for flying sushi.

Tendrils of smoke invade your vision. Heat suddenly invades your helmet, fogging up the screen. Tempestuous shaking takes hold of your wild rocket ship, and you try to keep it leashed before it completely goes into rabid barrel roll towards the ground below. The strong taste of iron on your lips signals that you're bleeding, while the adrenaline in your heart makes your blood only rush faster. You glance to your right and see Dave has passed out; crimson blood smears his cracked helmet, his body slumped over the control desk. You risk taking a look behind you. Jade and John are also unconscious. Gritting your teeth, you smash your fists on the landing gear controls, hoping that they haven't kicked the bucket,too. The gray earth begins to drive steadily towards, faster and faster until you can see the tiniest shells littering the beach shore.

Suddenly everything becomes black.

* * *

Jade.

That's the first color you see as you enter consciousness. Light filters in through a window, spilling over colorful fabrics draped over the walls and floors. You groan, clutching your head with one shaky hand. Your whole body feels sore and beaten up, as if it were thrown into the dryer. Shifting into the least painful sitting position you can manage, you notice there are bandages wound skillfully around your arms, left leg, and head. You're still in your first layer of clothing thankfully, which is a plain white space suit engineered to fit you perfectly in order to avoid clothing blunders. A few vibrant plants are placed in the white room. Soft, colorful material is gathered in a large pile under you like a make-shift bed. Nearby an island counter holds a sewing machine, more rags, and a little further beyond are stairs leading to an unexplored bottom floor. To your right, a bookshelf propped up against the wall next to you holds is filled with tomes written in an alien language. To your left an equally-tall safe is closed shut. The weirdest object in the room seems to be a hanging, dark purple cocoon of some sort. Staggering to your feet, you lean against the wall, excitement pumping in your veins despite your current situation.

Time for some exploring.

You smirk, tip-toeing across the room stealthily, descending down the long flight of stairs. Panting, you make it to the bottom, where light showers you as you exit to the outside world. A small ring of healthy green grass surrounds the premises, shifting sand surrounding it from beyond. You look up; large stretches of more colorful fabric flap in the wind, flowing around the household, making the tower seem like a rainbow-schemed sail. A dirt path stretches before your feet, neatly trimmed trees basking in the sun. You smile. Whoever this alien is, they have a superb taste in landscaping.

Strolling along the path, you shield your eyes as you wander around the property. The humming of wings greets you from behind, followed by a feminine voice.

''Greetings. It seems you have finally awoken.''

With an inquisitive expression on your face, you turn around nervously. A gray-skinned female(?) stands atop a fluttering white beast of some sort, looking down at you with a chainsaw in her hands. You smile as politely as you can. ''Hello. Are you the one who rescued me?''

''Yes. I assume you are a female as well?''

''Correct, though I do have one question then. Have you seen three others similar to myself? We ran into some... difficulties arriving here.''

''I only saw you by the time I arrived. The only reason I came was because I was informed there was a spectacular crash that occurred by some of my companion's hives, so I was inclined to check it out. Perhaps my friends have already taken in yours.'' The alien hopped down from her flying steed (you seriously doubt there is no end to these flying fauna) and walked towards you calmly, suddenly turning her chainsaw into lipstick. Interesting.

''Perhaps. Now where can I get a flying ride of my own?''

* * *

After a long-winded discussion of how trolls on Alternia- Earth 2.0 was a shot down once you said it- have lusii as parent figures instead of biological guardians, and how humans have long branches of family and have named their everyday items much, much more differently than trolls, you settle down into your pile of rags, ready to learn more about the Alternian culture.

''You see, we do not leave our genetic material inside of each other. We deposit them in buckets, which are given to the Imperial drones in order for the mother grub to process them for her to start her brooding. Exactly two buckets must be offered, for our black and red quadrants, or else we will be culled on the spot.''

''What a wonderful way to reproduce.'' You say, taking a sip of the fruity beverage Kanaya had offered you minutes before. It was a dark shade of orange, tasting like a combination of citrus and other fruity flavors you didn't think possible.

''Is that more of your human sarcasm?''

''Maybe.'' You smile;you hope the others are having as much fun as you are.

Fiery red slips into the room, accompanied by hot pink and bright orange. Rays of warm sunlight recede into the horizon, navy blue and pitch black following soon after. You glance out the window curiously. Far below, dark figures rise from the sand by the dozens; herds of weird-looking horses trot across the sandy landscape, shooting... arrows?

''Kanaya, what are those things?'' You ask, getting up to your feet and walking to the window. Kanaya joins you, looking down at the scene as if it were perfectly normal.

''Why, they're hoofbeasts. They like to come out at night, along with those horrid skeletal monsters. I would love to go down there and cut down their ranks just for the romance of it, but it is far too dangerous to challenge any of them. Far too numerous.'' She says despairingly, sipping from the lukewarm concoction. Out of the many books she has, a number of them seem to contain romantic stories of ''rainbow drinkers'' who wander the nights seeking more victims to feast on. Almost like your fascination with wizards.

''Is there any other vicious fauna that's out to assault me?'' You say, taking in the scene of the graceful centaurs strike down a hoard of the skeletal beings that crossed their path. Kanaya laughs softly.

''Haha, I think you will be fine if you don't bother them.'' Kanaya said casually, turning back to organize the cloths decorating her room You yawn, feeling exhausted after the whole ordeal, especially with the weight of not knowing where your friends are pressing on your mind. Kanaya looks back at you, gesturing towards the dark purple cocoon hanging from the ceiling. ''I only have one recuperacoon, so if you don't mind sharing you are welcome to rest up.''

''No thank you. We humans sleep in these little blanketed nests called ''beds''.'' Kanaya frowns. You then take a few minutes explaining to her what a bed is in the first place, then assemble a comfortable pile of cloths into your corner, curling up as your eyelids began to droop with exhaustion.

Kanaya watches you attentively, memorizing your movements as if you were an unicorn. Wait, scratch that. They might have those. When you begin to doze off, you feel a light weight press on your body, the smell of jasmine lingering in your mind.

* * *

In the morning, yellow rays of light filter through the windows, waking you up from your slumber. You prop yourself up on your elbows, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. A wide stretch of jade cloth covers you, a thick perfume of jasmine emanating from it. With a light clink, a plate is placed at your feet; what appears to be cooked meat with some sort of vegetables surrounding it. A gray hand places a steaming cup of liquid, nudging the food towards you.

''I assume you are famished. Do not worry, it is all cooked.'' Kanaya assures you, drinking mustard-colored liquid from a round flask. She licks her lips, nodding at you encouragingly.

You pick up the cup and reluctantly drink from it; it's not half bad. Neither is the meal set before you. When you're done, you see that Kanaya has finished two whole bottles of the liquid. Faint white light radiates off of her, gradually fading as she downs another bottle. Interesting.

''Can I... can I try a dress on you?''

* * *

Three dresses into the process, you're 100% sure Kanaya is the most fashionable savior in all of Alternia. Out of the three dresses you've been fitted into already, this one suits the most by far; midnight silk wraps itself around you gently, floating onto the floor in light folds like mist. A dark purple ribbon is tied around your waist, scraping the floor slightly. You smile in approval, and Kanaya does the same, now wearing a green dress herself. She does the final adjustments, then takes a few steps back to admire her work.

''You look gorgeous.'' Kanaya says smiling slightly.

You flush slightly.''Why thank you.'' Kanaya looks up at you.

''You should keep it. It will count as a the first exchange between our races.''

''But I have nothing to offer. An exchange goes both ways.''

''That can be handled at a later date,'' Kanaya says; a small flash of hunger flits across her eyes, but you brush it off.

Days fly by as you and Kanaya bide your time educating each other of your alternate cultures, crafting clothing and trolling some of Kanaya's friends. She asked if they knew the whereabouts of three other humans, describing their appearances according to you, and now you can rest assured that John, Dave, and Jade are all safe. They were all, coincidentally, taken in by her friends, now hanging out in their ''hives''. Kanaya had given you your own PDA, so now you can stay in contact with your friends; a very thoughtful gift, you think as you lay outside on the soft grass surrounding Kanaya's hive. She lays next to you, staring up at the magnificent moons orbiting Alternia. Glittering stars are strewn across the night sky, reflecting in Kanaya's amber eyes. You've grown to love their glitter of intelligence, and are starting to return the fervent glimmer of adoration that shimmer in her eyes when she looks at you.

You sigh, stretching. In a few days you will have to find a way back to Earth, which you doubt will be easy not due to lack of technology but how cooperative your friends want to be. Separation is a hard thing for everyone. And you're starting to suspect you will definitely not be excluded.

''About the exchange... I know an effortless method of producing a gift.'' Kanaya comments steadily. You turn your head towards her with your eyebrows raised.

''And what is that?''

''Here, sit up.'' You sit up cross-legged as Kanaya sits next to you, inches away. She tilts your head slightly, revealing your neck to her. ''This might hurt slightly.'' You're about to say what the heck she is talking about when she kisses your neck, her hand still cupping your face.

You gasp as she sucks on the skin, her sharp fangs grazing it slightly. That's when it begins to hurt. Slight pain wells up in your neck, but you only furrow your eyebrows in confusion. Ruby-red blood spills from her mouth; you can see her lap it up, her lips painted crimson red. You pant, her other hand holding yours, her thumb massaging circles into your palm. The pain slowly drifts away into the corner of your mind when you become numbingly conscious of her tongue brushing against you, her heated breath fanning your skin and your heavy breathing. When it's over, concern is in her eyes as she looks upon your trembling state.

''I'm sorry, was it too much?'' She says, her hand turning your face to her gently, her eyes searching. You shake your head and press her lips on hers. At first she doesn't move; that changes soon after, and the both of you are kissing each other like lovers who haven't seen each other in decades. You end the kiss, panting as you lean against her rapidly rising and falling chest.

''Rose Lalonde...'' Kanaya mutters, jade blush on her cheeks. You stay silent, catching your breath. ''Will you be my matesprit?'' She asks, embracing you with those slender arms of hers. You nod.

''Nothing would make me happier.''

* * *

**Rosemary... I think that ship is very alluring and cool in its own way. One of my main otps. :33 Though the night before someone had asked what my otp was and told me I could only choose one, this came across my mind, but then so did a dozen others! How the heck do people choose only one true pair? Is that even humanly possible? I THINK NOT! Also sorry to those peeps waiting for this because for some reason my folks keep dragging me along to far-out places in an attempt to enjoy the last days of summer(I HAD NO WIFI FOR DAYS).Ugh... the last days of summer vacation shouldn't be spent in freezing hotel rooms.  
**

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	17. Gamzee x Sollux

Darkness surrounds you, leaving you in a void of nothing.

Of course you still retain your four other senses, but it's just not the same without the awesome two-fold vision you used to wield. You wander down a ... hallway? You hope it's a hallway, not some fucking room you'll probably end up walking circles in for hours before you find out it's not what you thought it was. A lot of things were not what you thought they were. You thought Eridan was just some over-dramatic pushover; turns out you pushed him too far, and now things have gone to shit. An ominous sensation tugs at your mind, and you can only hope someone finds you before it happens again.

A faint grating noise echoes from your left; soft breathing and foot steps follows. You turn your head towards the noises, frowning slightly. ''Hello? Anyone there?'' You call out tentatively, hoping someone will answer you.

_HONK._

Oh, good, it's just Gamzee. You smile slightly, attempting to turn towards him, taking a few cautious steps. You end up bumping right into his tall frame. ''Oof! Fuck, thorry I can't thee anything...'' Gamzee's cold hand tilts your head up, and you can smell the acrid stench of iron permeating from him. ''Gam... zee...?''

''Who all up and did this to you, Solbro?'' Gamzee asks quietly, rage, concern, and insanity reverberating in his deep, gravelly voice. You hope he hasn't snapped,too.

''Uh, Eridan... he uthed hith wand and flipped hith thit, killing Feferi and me. But I had another life left, tho I'm jutht blind.'' You mutter, trying to form some sort of image of his serene face in your mind to replace the aching darkness. You try to imagine that it's not blood on his clothes, just his retarded sopor slime. You try to imagine a pair of soft, gentle lips instead of the rough, chapped ones smashing themselves onto yours; fear strikes your stomach, and you suddenly wish that someone, anyone, even Eridan were here to stop this. But no one comes. And Gamzee pins your wrists above your head with one large hand, gripping them tightly as he probes your mouth with fiery passion. He tangles with your forked tongue, making your whine and squirm under his strong grip.

It's not surprising at all though. You always knew he had a major flush crush on you, attempting to flirt with you slyly, orchestrating shitty raps for you and hanging around you almost as often as he hung around Karkat. His red feelings are still evident under the sober mask as he caresses your face tenderly, muttering sweet words between kisses when your fear becomes evident.

You gasp for air when he ends the kiss, breathing heavily; his mouth latches onto your neck, sucking and licking. You try to keep yourself from letting the lust and pure terror win over, but as his other hand travels lower, stroking the skin underneath your shirt, snaking its way under the hem of your underwear, you're sure you've lost the battle right then and there. ''G-Gamzee... pleathe don't... rape me...'' You mutter breathlessly. As much as you want this, even with your ambiguous red feels and all, this isn't how you wanted it to happen. Not while he's fucking sober. Drenched in his own madness, surrounded in as much darkness as you are.

Gamzee's hand pauses. Just for one moment, you almost sigh in relief, only the ragged breaths leaving your protein chutes filling the tense silence. Then you almost shit your pants when he hoists you over your shoulders and speed-walks to wherever the fuck he's heading. You scramble to get the fuck out of there in vain. In a near-whisper, you say shakily,''Gamzee, where are we going?'' He only chuckles mirthfully, tightening his grip on your waist. His heavy footsteps shake your body, and the long fingers gripping your shirt are merciless.

''To my motherfucking room. Maybe we can help you get your chill on...'' He says nonchalantly, nearly letting you slip off as he bends down to crawl through a... tunnel? Damn it, you know shit is serious when tunnels are involved.

You stay silent, trying not to fall off when he stands back to his full height; he practically throws you onto the floor. You curse as a dull pain resonates through your head when you stumble onto the floor, blindly gathering yourself to your feet. You can hear him make his way towards you, and you wince when a cold hand grabs your arm. Once again his mouth connects with yours, momentarily distracting you from the sneaking hands below, his tongue entwining with yours, sucking noisily. You groan, feebly grabbing fistfuls of his shirt to steady yourself from doubling over. By now, you probably could have used your powers to defend yourself and abscond the fuck out of there, but they kicked the bucket alongside your sight. Dammit. Suddenly your shirt is yanked off hastily, the abrupt action scratching your skin. Cold air greets your sweat-covered, skinny torso.

''Get on your knees, motherfucker.'' Gamzee growls. You shiver; you feel so sick being turned on by his voice, yet just the right level of fucking terrorized to know you haven't gone insane yet. Complying, you shift onto your hands and knees, trembling from the rising anticipation. In this moment you're kind of grateful you can't see what kind of mad expression Gamzee has, because that would have given you a fucking heart attack. Gamzee's cold hands wrench your arms behind you, binding them with some warm, familiar fabric; your own shirt, you guess? Now you're face down on the floor, ass sticking up in the air. Fucking embarrassing.

And kinky. Fuck.

''You look so cute and vulnerable like this, Solbro~...'' Gamzee whispers sweetly, tilting your chin up with one hand and ravaging your mouth for a few minutes. He then ends the sloppy makeouts, footsteps traveling behind you. You tremble, smirking. ''Do your wortht, clown.'' The brave facade can only last so long and you know it. He honks, tearing off your pants, probably leaving them in shreds that pool around your bent knees. A long, slender finger slides into your moist nook, stretching your tight muscles, soon joined by two others that ram themselves deeper into your dripping crevice. Your two tentabulges drip with genetic material, wrapping around themselves in a flurry to find more heated contact. You whine, pushing back onto those fingers inside of you lustfully. Sharp claws grip your hips, forcing you to stay in place like a good boy. Soon you're reduced to a pool of moans and whimpers when Gamzee spreads your thighs apart, teasingly sliding his tongue from bulge to nook, only allowing the tip to rustle the folds of your needy nook. He continues to tease you, giving shallow licks that only rustle the surface of your soaking wet entrance, his hands keeping you from ramming yourself onto that delicious tongue of his to get the satisfaction you desire.

''F-Fuck...! You ath...ahh...hole... put i-ahh! Mmmf!'' You shout, attempting to form a proper sentence in between the moans and sighs. Gamzee's tongue and fingers disappear, leaving you panting on the floor. You shift your head, following the light, swift footsteps heading to your front. You freeze when Gamzee snaps your head up by your hair, his acrid, hot breath fanning on your sweat-filmed heated face.

''Getting a little too noisy there, motherfucker. Gonna have to shut that pretty little mouth of yours...'' He says, pulling his pants down with a free hand, guiding your face to a wet, writhing appendage. Gamzee shoves your face towards it; you let it slide into your mouth, and you suck eagerly, lavishing the slick bulge with your forked tongue. Gamzee groans, beginning to buck slightly as you bob your head while letting your tongue wrap around the foreign muscle. Genetic material and saliva spills out of your mouth, dripping onto the floor with soft _pitter patter_'s.

Then Gamzee pulls away again. You really wish he would have continued; his sweet taste was something you were actually enjoying. Fabric rustles again, wrapping itself around your head, covering your mouth and tightening for good measure. ''Something to make sure you don't all up and get too noisy again, heh...''

You scowl. Fuck him. Fuck him hard. ''Mmmfff! Hhhhh-'' Your fuming thoughts are interrupted by a long length entering you, two hands gripping your hips roughly. Your whimpers and lust-filled moans are muffled beneath the fabric, the sensation of being filled overwhelming. Gamzee honks, steadily ramming himself into you, trying to fit himself into the tight entrance with each hungry thrust. You shiver, feeling the sticky, warm genetic material secrete from your nook and tangling bulges, gradually nearing the edge. With one last powerful thrust you're thrown over the edge in pure ecstasy, arching your back as you come with a silent shout. Gamzee climaxes along with you, groaning. Hot liquid shoots into you, pooling in you like a warmth-filled pond. You sigh, shivering slightly as it drips onto the floor; you're so sure your covered in indigo and honey-colored jizz, but it doesn't matter in the blissful afterglow.

Gamzee leans against you. Slowly his fingers release your hips, massaging tender circles on your thighs. With a steady breath, he says quietly,''I'm sorry.''

* * *

**Hey! I updated in six days! Since school is kicking back up tomorrow, I'll be more pressed to get more work done so you guys won't have to worry about waiting a whole two weeks for another update. Summer is just a reely laid back time for me, so I kind of end up slacking off, heh. That and the fact my computer is going to literally just stop working anytime soon. Everyone else has their newfangled fancy Windows 8 and gadgets that have more than forty minutes of life. And then there's me. Pfft. They're so mainstream.  
**

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	18. GamzeexJohn

Smoke fills your lungs. Dark, murky green fog blurs your vision as you stumble through the cluttered hallway. Your hands blindly grope for the doorknob to his room; after a few minutes of muffled breathing and careful tip-toeing, your hand finally touches a cool, metal surface. A doorknob. You turn it, throwing yourself into the haze-filled room.

Tears sting your face.

You finally found him. After three years of searching. ''G-Gamzee...?''

* * *

Your name is John Egbert, and for a while you've been waiting -and dreading- for this day to come.

The environment around you is eerily odd and unfamiliar, which kinda scares you. You're so used to knowing the neighborhood like the back of your hand since you've lived in the same town for almost your whole life. You were able to run around with your friends like dorks, showing each new buddy the secrets of the town in your own special welcome gift. It was especially delightful when you, Jade, Rose, and Dave just hung out. No one but the four of you, kids who've grown up together and will remain together for the rest of their lives.

Until you had to move.

''So, where's my room?'' You ask your dad, your mind still wandering down memory lane. Hopefully the last inhabitants of it didn't leave it messy like Dave's room; it was like a giant dumpster up there. You still remember spending hours at his house wandering through half-eaten pizzas, bags of Doritos, and multi-colored smuppets.

''Upstairs. Choose whatever room you want, son. Just not the bathroom.'' Your father says with a playful smile; you know he hates this just as much as you do, but the rotten things with whatever adults are concerned always seem to ruin stuff. Why can't you just stay where you were?

You trudge upstairs. There you find a narrow hallway of rooms, and you decide to walk into the room nearest to you. When you open the door, sunlight streaming in through a single window. In the corner next to you, a dresser is the only belonging left in the small room. Might as well camp here, you guess. You run back down the stairs (there is so much prank potential there!) and flash past your dad, who lugs in the basic supplies needed for a healthy family. Boxes of ramen.

_Now that's the shit._

''Hey dad where did you put the inflatable mattresses again?'' You shout, dashing into the small moving car. Because it's only the two of you, you don't really have that much to take. After rummaging through the boxes while trying to hear what the hell your father as saying, you found your mattress, inflating it to full capacity. You decide to just throw it in the middle of the room near a bag filled with your clothes. Sitting on your ass for ten hours on end for the fourth day in the row has really gotten to you. The only friend you had in that internet-less crisis was your DS.

''THIS PLACE NEEDS MORE MAGIC.'' You half-yell to yourself. Dammit now you're really losing it. You then proceed to dash down the stairs AGAIN, rushing out the door and almost scaring the shit out of your dad as he walks in carrying Nana's ashes. You mutter a quick sorry, kicking up the stand on your bike - good thing you decided to take it out earlier just in case- swinging yourself on top of it deftly. You ride into the neighborhood with a totally not retarded grin on your face from the relief of being freed from the clutches of that stuffy environment. Wind whips your hair, and bugs smash onto your glasses. Okay, not the most glorious thing but still better than laying around. Just look at that beautiful sun! The fresh air! The guy walking in front of you -WAIT WHAT THE HELL OH SHIT.

''AAHHHH! LOOK OUT!'' You scream frantically, suddenly jerked out of your daydreams when a tall figure appears in the middle of the sidewalk like a wizard, stars entering your vision from the force of the collision. The last thing you feel is hard pavement and some stranger slamming into you.

Oh, wow. Great thought as you pass out.

* * *

''H-huh... wha... ouch!...'' You mumble, clutching your head. A dull pain aches in every part of your body; you look down, surprised at the abundance of crappily-wrapped bandages around your hands and legs. At least the SpongeBob-themed band-aids are a plus. And why does it smell like apple pie here?

''Are you okay now, brother?''

''Ah!'' You jump at a vaguely familiar voice. ''W-wait, were you the one who...?'' You look over at the freakishly tall, lanky figure. His dark brown hair curls over his half-lidded eyes slightly, poofing up crazily. He smiles at you serenely.

''Yeah, I motherfucking am. I was walking outside because it was a great day, and then you all up came out of nowhere.'' He laughs. You join along nervously; now you feel kinda bad. This guy went to the trouble of actually making sure you're okay even though _you_ were the one who ran him over in the first place.

''Uh, yeah sorry about that.'' You say with a smile. He nods; a blank look comes onto his face, and he blinks real slowly. You sit there for five whole minutes until you decide to ask,'' Um... what's your name? My name is John!''

''Wha- oh, sorry brother got lost there. My name is Gabriel Makara. But you can call me Gamzee.''

''Well, hi Gamzee! I just moved here today, so everything is kinda new to me.'' You laugh. Gamzee grins, gesturing to his shadowed house.

''Welcome to the carnival, Johnbro.'' He says nicely. You think that even though this guy may not be what people may call ''normal'', he is definitely a good guy. So you let him show you the rest of his house; it's not that big, or clean. But besides the fact that there's a padlocked room (Gamzee said it used to be his older brother's), it can become pretty comfy with a little Faygo and videogames. Sitting on a beat-up couch, you're reminded of old, laid-back times when you used to just game with the whole gang without a care in the world.

''Ha! Look at that, I'm winning by like a gajillion points!'' You exclaim excitedly. Usually you're schooled by most players, but you seem to be a little luck-

Oh wait Gamzee just drifted off again. ''Gamzee, come on! It's not fun playing by myself!'' You say pouting.

''Huh? Oh sorry Johnbro, just up and drifted off again.'' He chuckles mirthfully, and you smile. He may kick your ass at videogames when he's not daydreaming, but you think you've made your first friend.

* * *

Miraculous streaks of light blue spill across the dark blue horizon, and the slight chirping of birds -plus that motherfucking alarm clock- rouses you from your sleep. As usual, you're asleep in the same clothes you wore yesterday. Gotta put on some new shit man; can't go to school all up and nasty.

After attempting to tame your wild hair, you sling on your backpack. Yesterday, before Johnbro came and motherfucking crashed into you, you decided to buy a large set of colored pencils and notebooks. Those motherfuckers are important for school. You'll buy the rest of the necessary goodies sometime later.

As you're walking - more like wandering- down the path to your new high school, Johnbro suddenly appears from one corner, riding his sky-blue bike. You grin, and speed walk to catch up with him. You think he's a nice little motherfucker; he reminds you of Tavros, your ex-boyfriend who moved away a few weeks before middle school ended. Those were hard times. You almost relapsed; Tavbro managed to all up and support you during these hard times during your Skype sessions and chats online. Though nowadays he seems to be missing almost all the time...

''What's up my brother?'' You honk mirthfully. John smiles and waves, getting off his bike to walk beside you.

''Hey there, Gambro!'' He giggles. Heh, the motherfucker is starting to catch on. The both of you chitchat until you see the outline of the highschool in the distance, where you spot a few more familiar people. Your best friend is there!

''Karbro! Come over here and motherfucking meet Johnbro!'' You shout, dragging along Johnbro to catch up with your albino brother. He scowls, inspecting your new buddie.

''Haha, hello Karbro!'' John chirps.

''My name is not Karbro, it's fucking Karkat.'' Karbro growls. You love it when the little guy gets flustered; he's one of your longest-lasting bros. Everyone else kinda avoids you.

''Sorry for that, Karkat. Heh... Karkat...'' John's eyes light up. ''Beep beep meow!'' He blurts out suddenly.

''What, I can't even-''

''Your name! Car and cat!''

''Just call me Carter, dammit. I don't even know why I still put up with this bullshit anymore.'' Karbro sighs. Karkat was a name you two made up years ago, the same time you made up the nickname Gamzee. Back in those days, Tavbro used to all up and chill with you guys, also creating his nickname Tavros. You motherfucking forgot his real name a long time ago. Whoops.

The rest of the morning goes on eventfully; you introduce your new bro to everyone you know, despite the fact that you haven't talked to some of them for most of the summer. Or last semester. Some motherfucker started to spread rumors about you, and it's pretty much all up and messed up people's impression of you from the get-go. Not like most brothers found you intimidating before. Hopefully Johnbro doesn't end up like all those other motherfuckers.

Since you surprisingly have most of John's classes (he lit up like a motherfucking lightbulb when he found out, saying ''this is so awesome! I get to have most of my classes with my first 'bro' here.) you usually end up trailing behind him or Karbro. You also have a bad habit of daydreaming in the hallway once in a while, which then either one of your bros has to push you out of the way so you're not all up and ran over by the swarm of people rushing in. Even though it's only been a few days, you've already been the cause of five motherfucking traffic jams in the hallways. It's a good thing you have Johnbro in most of your classes; he doesn't mind you trailing behind him like a lost puppy at all, actually treats like a playful follow-the-leader thing, which you don't mind.

One day, while chilling under the trees in the outer rings of the school, you and Johnbro were just staring at the clouds passing by in the sky. You chuckled, sinking lower into the grass until you were lying on your back.

John glances over at you, his wide, sky-blue eyes gazing up at the clouds passing by. They reflected into his orbs, putting you into a trance. You swore you could see the cosmos in those windows of his. _Motherfucking miracle..._ You think silently, smiling.

''What's got you so happy, Gambro?'' John says curiously.

''Nothing. Just the motherfucking fact that life is beautiful. Friendship is beautiful.''

''Heh, you say some pretty weird things Gambro. But I guess that is what makes you so cool.'' John says casually. Your mind goes blank for a moment; _Johnbro just said you were cool._

Life truly is beautiful.

* * *

Lately, Gamzee's begun to really grow on you. The more time you spend with the chill dude, the more you forget the fact you've just moved away from the town you've spent nearly your whole life growing up in. Sure, there's Vianey, (spiderbitch, according to Gamzee)who loves movies just as much as you do, but hanging with her kind of makes you nervous sometimes. She can get a bit... overbearing. Karkat is totally cool, but whenever you try to suggest chilling with him, he gets bent out of shape. Scratch that. Whenever you say anything, he gets bent out of shape. But with Gamzee, you can just watch movies with him for hours on end and be able to talk to him easily; he listens no matter what kind of weird bullshit you blurt out, which is kind of awesome. Usually Jade would do the same thing, and you guys would take long walks through the thick forests near her house, at peace with all the weird animals in her huge backyard. You feel the same way when you're with Gamzee.

Just... at ease.

You knock on Gamzee's door. You've gotten into the habit lately of visiting his house almost daily (it's only two blocks away from yours), usually bringing over a movie or two. A few weeks ago while coming over, (yes, three months has passed by. You've forgotten how fast time travels.) you found out Gamzee baby-sits his neighbor's young twins whenever the parents are too busy to watch them. You're hoping they're not over today. One is a real sweet angel, who is the most behaved child you have ever seen. While the other one... let's just say he's not as proper as his sister.

''Hey Gambro, you home?'' You shout, ringing the doorbell. A chubby, round face appears at the window; it's your ''lucky'' day. The face sneers at you, pushed aside by a gentler one, who giggles and smiles at you. Suddenly the noise of locks being undone rings behind the door, and you're greeted by a smiling Gamzee, who is covered with flour and all kinds of baking supplies. You're used to the smell of baking pastries, though it always kind of surprises you when Gamzee does it.

'' 'Sup Johnbro, just all up and baking some pie for these little motherfuckers.'' You step inside greeted by the thick aroma of apple pie. Four pies are resting on the wooden table, a bright color green;the children's favorite color.

''So the dork visits again.'' Caliborn, or as you like to call him, little shit, glares at you with great disdain. Calliope frowns at him.

''That's not how you greet guests, Caliborn! Hi there, John. Did you bring any movies for us?'' You smile, waving a random Disney movie you plucked off the floor.

''Eeyup!'' After popping in the movie, and ignoring a river of shit from Caliborn, you settle on the couch next to Gamzee. You slowly eat your slice of pie, snuggling in with Gamzee. He slings an arm around your shoulders; you lean your head against his chest, shoveling in another piece of your pie, pretty sure you're smiling that goofy smile you always do when you're with Gamzee. And to clear things up, you are DEFINITELY not a homosexual! And you DEFINITELY did not fall in love with your best bro!

''Johnbro, the little motherfuckers are asleep. Wanna pop in your movie?'' Gamzee glances at you, and you only nod numbly. It feels like only five minutes have gone by, but you look at the time and an hour has passed. Your eyelids droop; you try to get your legs to work, but fail miserably. The warm pie in your stomach doesn't help, either. Soon you give up, curling into Gamzee's chest as you fall asleep.

''Heh, good night, Johnbro...''

* * *

Johnbro snores softly, nuzzling your chest in his sleep. What a cute little motherfucker. You lean down to take the plate from his hands, staring at his peaceful face more affectionately than a friend would have. Fuck it, you're not sure what kind of relationship this is anymore. Some days the both of you just chill together like any other pair of brothers, gaming the hours away or clowning around and setting up miraculous pranks. Others, you find yourself cuddling your bro, stroking his hair when he inevitably falls asleep, or holding his hand when no one is watching. It keeps all up and building each day, and the urge to cup his face and kiss him grows stronger with each visit.

After you're done washing up the mess in the kitchen, throwing a blanket over the kids, you pause, glancing over at Johnbro. His long eyelashes adorn his fluttering eyelids, his slim body curls up, his chest rising and falling slowly... and those lips, puckered and so kissable... you lean closer in your euphoric state, fascinated by how this brother who moved in only a few months ago can make you so unusually flustered only by looking at him.

Your lips connect with John's. You close your eyes, stroking his cheek and just motherfucking blushing like some bitch.

''Mmmf...G-Gam...hhh...'' You freeze. Johnbro's eyes flutter open; you panic, honking quite loudly and landing on your ass, your eyes wide open. John frowns, confused.

''What's wrong, Gambro?''

''N-nothing, brother. Just all up and tripped over something.'' You grin sheepishly. John just smiles, beckoning with flushed cheeks to join him on the couch. You oblige, basically spooning him on the couch. The both of you don't remark on how motherfucking weird and miraculous this is, but just silently drift off again.

Your name is Gamzee Makara, and you're not sure what this shit is, but you're loving every second of it.

* * *

Evening. Rain spills over your window, a gloomy gray shadowing the dark, flushed shades of the evening sunset. You sigh, utterly bored to death of watching the same movies over and over again.

The apocalypse is happening.

No, don't get your jimmies in a rustled, it's just the horrendous fact that IT'S THE WEEKEND AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO. How is that even possible? You think to yourself. You would love to sing ''How Do I Live'' at the top of your lungs while swishing around happily in circles with the rabbit you got from Jade, but Mother Nature hates you and decided today was the day you would suffer. You sigh again, more dramatically, in hopes that something interesting happens. But nothing does.

Time to go to Gamzee's. Hopefully he knows what to do on a rainy evening.

* * *

''Johnbro, what the motherfuck are you doing out here in the rain?''

Johnbro smiles at you, shrugging and scurrying inside. You stare at him in surprise for a few seconds, then smile, shutting the door.

''Uh, so what do you want to do now, Gambro?'' John says as he sits on the floor.

''Well, you should get motherfucking dried first, brother.'' You retrieve a towel, crouching in front of John and draping the towel over his dripping, raven hair. He grins at you, blushing slightly as you wipe his face off tenderly, making sure to be extra gentle when patting down his shoulders and legs with the towel. When you're done, you place the towel on top of his head, smiling. He avoids your affectionate stare, but you cup his face and lean in towards him until only an inch separates both of your faces.

''G-Gamzee, what are you doi-'' John starts; you shoosh pap him.

''Something I should have motherfucking done a long time ago...'' You close the gap, softly kissing him. You already know about the whole ''I am not a homosexual'' thing, but right now, in this moment, you couldn't care any less.

You bring your arms around him; your chests touch, and you can feel his rapid heart beat vibrate into your body. You plant kisses on John's cheeks, moving slowly from his jawline to his neck, massaging his back to release the tension from his slim body. He curls into your every touch, his hands holding onto your broad shoulders. Even though you're being gentle as possible, you can still feel him trembling in, so you whisper encouragingly.

''It's okay, Johnbro... I've got you...''

''But Gamzee, I am not a homosexual...'' John sputters out sheepishly. You glance down, and chuckle.

''Are you sure about that? You better motherfucking look down.'' John looks down slowly; soon he's a bright red, covering his little ''problem'' with the both of his hands.

''W-well, I...! Um...! God, this is so fucking embarrassing...'' He mumbles. You kiss him on his lips again, and lower yourself to his pants, unzipping them. You pull them down, then stop when a trembling hand lands on yours. ''Gamzee, I... well, about what I said earlier, I uh...''

_He looks so damn cute. _Before Johnbro spends another ten minutes stuttering, you pick him up, walking over to the couch. You sit down, holding the still-mumbling John in your arms.

''Just say it, Johnbro. There isn't anybody but us here...'' You say, nuzzling his neck. Your hands run over his smooth skin, enjoying his silky touch.

''I love you, Gamzee.'' John says, gazing at you with those wide, sky-blue eyes you've always loved so much.

''I love you, Johnbro... you're the cutest little motherfucker a brother could ever lay eyes on.'' You kiss him again with more gusto, sliding your tongue into his mouth. John swings his arms around your neck, returning your sloppy kisses. You never were that good of a kisser, but by the way John's ''little problem'' is only get bigger, you're confident that at least you're doing something right. You scoop him up again, making your way to your bedroom. Inside, you kick the door closed, laying John on the bed. You clamber over on top of him, undressing him as slowly as possible. When the both of you are only in boxers, you stop.

''Gamzee...?''

''Do you want to go all the way?'' You ask him, your hand resting on his inner thigh.

''...'' John blinks slowly, and blushes, nodding his head. ''Yeah.''

You grin, descending upon his lips hungrily. He moans, bucking his hips when your hands slip beneath the waistband of his underwear, playing with him gently.

''Don't motherfucking worry, I'll be gentle...'' You say as you claim his body, exploring every curve of his beautiful form.

* * *

Five months. Five months since the both Gamzee and you officially began dating. The past five months have been glorious, heavenly even. You've spent almost every minute with him, thinking of him when you weren't by his side. As cheesy as it may sound, you actually think you've found the one for you. You grin at the fact that no matter what kind of retarded prank you play on him, he always seems to enjoy it as much as you, sometimes even pranking you back. And the visits to his house have become a bit more... frisky. You'd love to tell us in detail, but oh hey look at that over there!

''Hello Karkat!'' You greet happily. Though Carter doesn't seem as happy as you do.

''Hey there, dipshit.''

''As friendly as usual, heh.'' You smile, walking beside the grumpy guy. Today is the last day of school, and you plan to spend the whole evening with Gamzee to celebrate. And no, it's not going to be like _that._ Okay, it might be, but hey what's the harm in that?

''So what do you plan to do this summer?'' You glance over at Carter.

''I don't fucking know. Probably what I do every summer.''

''And that is...?''

''Watching romcoms and stuffing my face.''

''Man, your taste movies really suck, Carter! Maybe I can bring you an epic title, like Con-Air?'' You offer. Ever since you found out that Carter is in unironic love with those sappy romcoms, you've always liked to tease him about it.

''What's up my brothers? Hey there, little Johnbro.'' Gamzee smiles at you, brushing his shoulders against yours. You smile, grabbing his hand and swinging it happily. Meanwhile, Carter looks like he's going to throw up.

''Oh gog, can't you guys a damn room already?''

''But I thought you loved this kind of stuff, Karkat!'' You link your arm with Gamzee's, trying to look like a couple from a romcom. By the look on Carter's face, you think you've nailed it.

''Fucking hell, are you guys- I AM SO DONE WITH YOU GUYS!'' Carter storms off, blushing hotly when you cup Gamzee's face to give him a big smooch, making sure to lift your leg up and everything.

''Hehe, see you later, Carter!'' You shout out.

You have the feeling today is going to be a great day.

* * *

You have the feelings this is going to be a horrible summer.

One; you're moving. Yeah, that's great and all, but you don't want to leave Gamzee behind. Two; you've heard Carter's stories about what happened with his past boyfriend. You don't want that to happen to Gamzee again.

You don't ever want to leave him behind.

''Ugh, I hate this so fucking much...'' You mumble, leaning against your window. The trees outside reflect in your glasses, and you wonder if you could just open the window and escape this nightmare. Too bad you don't know how to jump seven feet into the air. You frown, thumbing the ugly, ratty sweater Gamzee attempted to knit for you for Christmas. It's not anything near as good as what Rose sent you, but for some reason it feels like Gamzee is actually with you when you put it on. You sigh, walking down the stairs. When you arrived at your house the morning after you spent the night at Gamzee's, you were the happiest kid in the world. Then Dad told you you guys were moving. At that moment, you absconded into your room, locking yourself in there despite your dad's best attempts to coax you out.

You walk outside grudgingly, still playing with the tattered hem of the red and bright green sweater. As you walk towards the moving truck, you look up, hoping to see a familiar lanky figure, smiling serenely at you with a warm pie to help you on the trip.

No one comes.

''Is your boyfriend going to say farewell?'' Your dad asks you, revving up the car. You shake your head sadly. Hopping into the car, you slam the door shut, tracing your fingers along the contrasting indigo stitching of Gamzee's signature clown text face. You check your PDA, searching for any sign of Gamzee. No luck. Nothing.

As the moving truck drives down the narrow road, you look back one more time.

The only thing you see is an empty driveway.

* * *

''G-Gamzee...?''

A long, dark figure trembles in the thick cloud of smoke, mumbling incoherently. You rush over to Gamzee, crying and scolding him for never contacting you after moving. Despite the acidic fog invading your vulnerable lungs, you gasp and shudder, dragging Gamzee out of the cluttered apartment. You don't know how long he's been here. You don't know how many times he's walked alone in the dark streets, looking for more ''miracles'' to wash the pain away.

It's been three years, and you still don't know anything.

''It's going to okay, Gamzee...!'' You sob, tripping over a pile of rusty bicycle horns. ''My dad is outside, and we're going to get you to rehab, and then you'll get better, and... and everything will be okay... you can live with me from now on, a-and we'll never be apart...'' You drag him down the stairs, unable to stop crying as your dad drives all the way to the rehabilitation center.

Gamzee honks mournfully, nuzzling your stomach. ''Johnbro...''

''I'm so sorry, Gamzee...''

* * *

** One year into the future.**

''Hey there, Gambro. Heh, I haven't called you that in a while, haven't I?'' You smile, turning the bouquet over and over in your hands.

''Yeah, it's that time of year again! Everything has been going pretty awesome at school, and even though I'm not quite sure what to do in life yet, I think it's looking pretty bright for me. I've been working pretty hard for the both of us lately. My teachers say I am one of the top students in the school, so I can go to whatever college I want! I guess it doesn't hurt to study after all, huh?'' You laugh.

''I brought these for you. Thought you might like these, since they're your favorite color.'' You crouch down, setting the indigo flowers on top of the grave. Engraved onto the tombstone is the name Gamzee Makara. You smile; he would have loved that.

You stand up again, brushing off your suit. ''I'm still thinking of you. Even to this day, Gamzee. I hope you're happy up there with your mirthful messiahs.''

Giving one last glance back at the grave, you walk towards your car, driving off into the distance.

He died of severe lung cancer a couple weeks after he was transferred into the hospital. You would never forget the days you spent by his bedside, just praying that a ''motherfucking miracle'' would happen. It never did. And in Gamzee's eleventh hour, the last thing he said was

''Don't worry Johnbro; it'll all up be just like you said.

We'll never be apart.''

* * *

***Sobs grossly* Oh man, sorry for giving you major feels after being gone for so long! I was actually planning to make a really happy and goofy clownshipping one-shot, but I guess that didn't go as planned. I apologize for disappearing! I had a sort of OTP-block- I dunno if that's a real thing- because when I was attempting to write up a one-shot for my biggest ship I came to a certain part where I had no idea to advance. After days and days of just blankly staring at the screen, I decided to go back to it later and type up this little gem. Also for that one guest who requested some John x Gamzee. Hope you loved it! **

**THANKS FOR READING!**


	19. Cronus x Kankri

Another great day. Yes, you are smoking hot his morning. Perfect time to go and finally make a move on the most talkative, adorable little hot-rod, otherwise known as Kankri. He may be extra-touchy about the whole hands-off thing and quadrants altogether. Though you think a little of your charm may do the trick. Just like all the other two-hundred-and-forty-seven times. No, you aren't counting. What makes you think that?  
You arrive at his dreambubble, knocking on the door of his hive.''Hey, Kankri you here shorty?''  
The door swings open and Kankri opens the door, a slight frown on his face. He loosens up a little when he sees you, though he crosses his arms and you know you're going to get a day's worth of lectures right then and there. ''Cronus, how many times have I told you not to call me that. It triggers me and can trigger others who are self-conscious of their height. And please remember to tag your triggers or else-''  
''Yeah, yeah, so hey you wvanna go wvith me to this real nice place I found in a fewv bubbles ovwer?''  
Kankri opens one eye, looking at you curiously with those milky-white eyes of his. He pauses. ''Please describe this 'real nice place'.''  
_Score! _You grin wide, leaning against the frame of the doorway, your muscle-toned body hovering over Kankri's. He doesn't move, but only averts his gaze from you and mumbles something about 'body triggers' with a small flush on his cheeks. ''Wvell let me show you.'' You swing an arm around Kankri before he has the chance to protest, striding over the great place you found for some sloppy makeouts.  
Yessssssss.

* * *

At first, you thought this would be another ploy of his to get you 'out of your pants'. You were right. And it seems to just keep happening. Maybe the term chastity doesn't tell him you're not interested in being ravaged. Okay, maybe you might be, but that would just be disgusting. There is absolutely no way in Alternia you are going to let yourself fall to the Insufferable's level. He might break his vows, but you are not planning to even in the afterlife. Though, Cronus's smile has been making you feel quite strange recently. Your heart skipped a beat when his wavey voice rung out from your hive entrance, opening the door to see that smug grin on his face. More surprisingly, you don't even mind the arm pulling you close to him, leading you to this mysterious location he has chosen for this outing.  
''Look and be amazed, doll.'' Cronus says, flourishing his arm at a pristine lagoon, surrounded by jet-black rocks studding the fine, white sand beach. Water trickles down stairs of rocks at one corner of the glittering area. Tall trees surround either side of you, with a calm blue sky overhead. Is this a memory from Earth? You don't remember Beforus being this astoundingly beautiful. You smile, nodding. ''I am quite impressed, Cronus. I never thought a bubble like this existed.''  
Cronus grins, unwrapping his arm around you. He kicks off his leather shoes, slowly removing his white t-shirt. You blush, pulling up the neck of your sweater. ''C-Cronus, what are you-?''  
''Hey, wve can't just let this svweet little pool just go un-enjoyed, right?'' He throws off his shirt, soon discarding his pants. You finally muster the guts to look up; what you see is definitely enjoyable. Cronus heads over to a overhanging rock, and dives into the lagoon. Suddenly his toned body shoots up, sending rivulets of water into the air. He smiles, shaking beads of water out of his hair and slicking it back with one hand.  
''Gonna join, babe?''  
''Um... if you insist...'' You trail off, noticing his piercing eyes as you undress, leaving you in nothing but a pair briefs. You tip-toe to the water, shyly entering the lukewarm water. The cool sensation is refreshing after standing in the blazing heat with a thick sweater on. You crouch in the water, enjoying the entirely platonic swimming session so far.  
Water splashes onto your face, and you frown at the grinning troll before you. ''Cronus, please.''  
''Come on, the wvater is perfect!'' Cronus chimes, and you sigh, paddling deeper into the blue pool. You stop when you can barely tip-toe in the water, standing dangerously near at the point where you cannot raise your head above the water. Cronus swims calmly over to you, concerned.  
''Don't tell me you can't swvim, chief.'' You nod, ashamed. Even though the need or desire to swim was rare among trolls, it is still an abundant skill, along with being very useful. What makes you even more flushed is when Cronus decides to pull you back gently by your waist, placing you onto his back. You cling tightly, very aware of the hands wrapping around your legs.  
''I would prefer it if you put me down.''  
''Nope.''  
''...'' You frown, thinking of any possible solution to the current dilemma. ''How about... how about you teach me how to swim.''  
''Sounds like a good idea to me.'' Cronus chuckles, letting you slide off of him. You almost whimper, but choose to stay silent. What happens next is the most embarrassing chain of events you'd rather not speak of, consisting of but not limited to hanging onto Cronus almost every time you began to swim, noticing how handsome Cronus is underwater, holding your breath because you're trying to hold in the gasps when Cronus's hands hold onto yours, awkwardly making eye contact with Cronus, Cronus being a hopeless flirt every second, and a myriad of other things.  
''I think I have a handle on it now.'' You say, slowly making your way towards the deep side. Cronus trails alongside you, fins flapping on either side of his head. You giggle.  
''Wvhat you laughin' at?''  
''Nothing. It is just that you look adorable with those fins of yours. '' You smile; Cronus turns a deep shade of violet. He grins, swimming up close to you until only an inch separates the both of you.  
''Wvell at least you're swimmin' alright.'' He says, wrapping his arms around your waist. You blush at the close contact.  
''Cro-''  
''Shoosh. Since you'vwe learned from the best of the best, howv does a little underwvater contest sound?''  
Your eyes gleam at the word at the word contest. ''Contest?''

* * *

Okay. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe it wasn't. Of course you woulda won every contest 'cause you're a fucking seadweller, but the last event you thought up would totally catch Kankri off-guard. He looks kind of exasperated, the idea that he has no chance against you finally dawning on him, though he still is up for one more round. Which, you think smugly to yourself, is competition between who can hold his breath the longest.  
''Hmph. Alright then, let's start, shall we?'' Kankri says, taking a huge gulp of air and submerging. He's very bold, you'll give the little guy that.  
You put on the best poker face you can muster, and go down under yourself. Kankri floats a few feet away from you, glaring at you defiantly. You cross your arms like him, copying him playfully. This only makes him more determined to kick your ass at this. Which won't happen. Moving closer as the seconds slowly tick by, you can see the crimson blood in Kankri's face, rushing. He puffs up, small bubbles escaping his lips as he tries to sew them shut.  
''Doin' okay there, chief?'' Kankri nods. Then abruptly he releases a river of air bubble, and you rush to his rescue. You press your lips against his, attempting to transfer life-giving air. At first, Kankri refuses, then opens his mouth and breathes in deeply, wrapping his arms around your neck for support. You smile, making sure to keep a steady flow. After a few minutes, Kankri catches his breath -more like your breath hehe- and gestures for you to resurface. You pick up Kankri bridal-style in your arms and pump your legs, forming small waves when you pop out into open air.  
''It seems that was an inevitable victory for you. And... thank you for that.'' Kankri says. You kiss his cheek, squeezing his thigh teasingly; Kankri gasps, like he just remembered the both of you are only in your underwear. He pouts.  
''Cronus...'' He opens his mouth as if about to say something else, but then shuts it. ''Nothing.'' Chuckling, you glide over to the shaded part of the lagoon, settling on a flat rock; water still covers the bottom half of your body, wavering slightly with each of your motions.  
Kankri just buries his head into your neck silently. Usually you would take that as an invitation to get a little more 'close', but for now you're letting him take it at his own pace. You gaze down at him with a smirk.  
''What do you wanna do nowv, chief?''

* * *

What to do. What to do. Your heart races; for once he's just sitting there, actually waiting for _you_ to make a move. That just contributes to your endless nervousness. Suddenly your throat is very dry. You gulp despite yourself, and lean towards Cronus, tightening your hold ever so slightly. You close your eyes and taste the same salty, smoke-dried lips you did before underwater; Cronus's arms hold you up, letting you kiss him tenderly.  
You lick his lips, entering as he grants you access and tangling with the wet muscle you find in there. The heat between you grows, and you find yourself in a sloppy makeout with Cronus, making obscene noises as you grind your hips against his. You never knew kissing someone could be so... delicious. Gasping for air, you open your eyes and take in the flushed complexion of your potential matesprite's face. He smirks smugly, making your stomach twist with a knot of hate. How much you hate his horrendous attitude at times. Yet others your passion for him is deeply pale, talking to him for hours on end because no one else wants to listen to him, and because no one else wants to listen to you. And now you find yourself imagining him thrusting into you, splitting you apart.  
You want him in all of your quadrants.  
''Cronus, I may be... red, black, and pale for you...'' You say shyly, embarrassed at the complexity of the phrase. Stupefaction flashes across Cronus's face, then violet floods in with a genuine smile.  
''I think it's the same for the both of us.'' Cronus says, leaning in for another kiss. You embrace him, spreading your legs to let his probing gray hand slip below the waist band of your briefs, sliding in a finger into your wet nook. You moan loudly, soon rocking your hips as two more fingers are added, Cronus sucking at your neck hungrily. He whispers he's going to enter, positioning you over his bulge. You nod. You're ready. Maybe The Insufferable knew what he was doing when he broke his chastity vow. You whimper when a slick appendage slides into you, filling you with unbearable warmth. ''C-Cronus... p-please... be gentle...'' You gasp, locking your legs around him. He nods, a deep shade of violet on his sweat-filmed face. He groans, thrusting into you slowly. Your walls tighten around his length, making you moan loudly. Cronus gradually thrusts faster, holding tightly onto your inner thighs. You throw your head back, shouting and hoping no one hears you. With one last thrust, Cronus come inside of you, filling you with warm violet fluid. Purple and red mix, dying the water around you.  
''That was great... Kankri...'' Cronus says, looking up at you with an orgasmic-afterglow drunk expression. You smile, collapsing into his strong arms.  
That was indeed, real nice.

* * *

**Ah, Cronkri. I will never be tired of this ship. Nope, not ever. I was actually listening to a headcanon voice for Cronus, and MAN it sure was freakin' realistic. Perfect headcanon. I would love to put the url here for you lovelies, but unfortunately I think it's against the rules. Tell me otherwise, chief. :]**

**THANKS FOR READING!**


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